Paul Daugherty - Coming Out of Confusion - Part 2
All right, number two, confront your emotions and feelings. Now, this one might get personal for some of us in the room, your feelings aren't always right. Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's the right thing. The world says, follow your heart. Your heart will lead you in the right place. Just follow your heart. All heart, baby! Except for when your heart's wrong. Hold up, Paul. God gave me this heart. That's right, He did. And it's wrapped in flesh and it doesn't always feel the right feelings or have the right emotions.
Jeremiah the prophet, in 17:9, Jeremiah, he says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick". Desperately sick, look at that. "Who can understand the heart of man"? It's in a desperate, and you go, well, that's Old Testament, Paul. The New Testament says, I've been born again. I got a new mind. You're right, but you're still wrapped in flesh. This is why Paul, the apostle, even after he got saved, he talks about how he wrestles. He goes, "There's things that I don't wanna do, but I do them and I shouldn't do them, and I know I shouldn't do them, but it's my flesh fighting against my spirit". It's my heart of flesh fighting against the heart that's been renewed by God. It's all together. You're connected. Until you get to heaven, there's a battle.
Billy Graham said, "Even in my old age, I feel the temptations of the flesh after being saved for 80 years," right? Like, there is no believer out there that's too sanctified to not have a fleshly heart. Every believer out there, every holy person you know out there that pretends to look holy in church as well, everybody has fleshly temptation. They get angry, we get impatient, we get frustrated, we become assumptive about people, suspi... and we've got a guard to heart and go, hold up. If this isn't from God, I don't need to be feeling these feelings. I need to check my feelings. Proverbs 28:26 says, "Whoever trusts in their own heart is foolish, but whoever gets wisdom will be delivered from confusion".
If I get wisdom, I can be delivered from my own heart. You know who I need to get free from? Me. You know who you need to get free from? You. You're like, there's a lot of haters out there. Yeah, but you're your biggest enemy. A lot of people trying to block my dreams, but you're your biggest blocker because oftentimes, it's not the voices out there, it's the voices in here. It's the voices in here that I've been listening to. It's the ego voices. It's the prideful voice. It's the entitlement voices. It's the highly aggressive, bitter, resentful voices going on in here that I need to check at the door and go, hold up. I'm not always 100% right, no matter how saved I've been or no matter how much schooling I've had, I can easily be wrong on a regular basis. And my wife knows it. She's like, amen, honey. Keep preaching that. Okay, so we need to check our hearts at the door.
Number three, confront who or what externally could be adding confusion. Is there a friend in your life that's whispering lies in your ear, flattering you to your face, but ultimately does not have the right intentions for your future? There's a lot of flattering voices going on in 2022. A lot of fake friends out there. Thank God for the people who will look at you and say the same thing to your face that they would say to you behind your back. They're gonna speak truth and love. They're gonna love you even when you're not around. Pay attention.
Genesis 3:1 says, "The serpent was more cunning than all the animals in the garden". So the serpent was really deceptively smart. This is the devil. He's a serpent. And it says, he went into the garden, the serpent, and began to lie to Eve. Did God really say that you can't have this forbidden fruit? Did God, this is where confusion begins, is questioning what God said. Questioning, did God really say? Does God know what's best for your life? You should know what's best. If it feels good, if the apple tastes good, if your body craves it, you should go for it. If your brain thinks it, you should just say it.
Ah, this is where we get in trouble. People are making surgical decisions at eight years old for their body, and they don't know what's best for their future because they feel like a girl in one moment and a boy in the next moment, and it's not helping society when we aid into this narrative that we can decide what's best for everything in our life. We aren't the best decision makers for our lives. I'm talking to me too. I'm preaching to Paul. I'm not coming at you, I'm coming at me. And if you're angry at this, email the Bible. If you don't wanna be in a Bible-believing church, you came to the wrong place. We just trust in the Word of God. We're not buying the baloney that's going on in our nation right now, deconstructing scripture.
Psalms 119 says, "The Lord will direct you in the path of His commandments". Lord, direct me in the path of Your Word. I wanna find a delight, Your Word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path. How can a young man keep his life pure? By abiding in the Word of God. Who or what is adding to the confusion? Is there a movie or a show? I remember one time I was reading this book, and it was interesting at first. It was a business book. It was really interesting. It was all about like succeeding. And I had studied business in college as a minor, and so, I was interested in this book. But then it never mentioned Jesus, never mentioned the Bible, and it began introducing principles.
And I wasn't against it. I was like, I can learn from this. But then it began questioning things that I had been taught from the Word of God. Things that the Word of God had taught me, through my parents passing on, you know, just character values, ethic values found in the Word of God. It began questioning that, and convincing me that there's a new way to do life and business and succeed. And I had to put that book down and go, hold on. Something's not right about this book. This book is not leading me in a stronger relationship with Jesus. Y'all, you can try to be successful without God, and you might make money, but you might lose value and purpose in your life.
I don't wanna be a money-making success. I wanna be a success in the kingdom of God, which may mean that I don't have any money, but listen, I've got value, purpose, significance found in the will and the ways of God. And when I'm 90, I won't have to live with regret about the last 80 years of my life doing it my way or doing it some businessman's way. I wanna do it, what does Jesus want? What does Jesus want for me? And none of us are perfect. We've all missed it. We've all fallen short. But you can get back on the right path to come back to God. I've been there where I just go, God, I am sorry. I was following my foolish feelings in that moment and I'm coming back to the Word of God. I'm coming back to the way of God. Is there something or someone that's adding to the confusion that's getting you distracted from the Word of God?
Number four, stop and ask for help from the right people. Now, I don't know about you, but sometimes, I got a hard time asking for help. I was putting together something for the kids recently, and Ashley walked outside. She said, "Do you need help"? I go, no, I got this. I'm the man. She was like, "Okay, did you read the directions"? I was like, directions. You just need a screw driver, some screws here, and it all makes sense. And she's like, "Please read the directions. I love you, honey, but just read those directions. They're good for you". And so, you know, okay, I'm skimming through 'em. Hey, I got this. Two hours later, she's like, "You need help"? I was like, yeah. I need... Let's practice this together. Say, "I need some help". I don't know why that's hard for us to say, but this is why so many of us stay in a confused state is we don't ask for help. We don't ask for help from the right people.
Proverbs 12:15 says this, "The way of fools seems right in their own eyes, but the wise man, the wise woman, listens to advice". Proverbs 15:22 says, "Plans fail". Putting toys for your kids together fails without directions or advice from your wife or advisors. And I would say the same thing goes for big decisions in our life. Are you making a big decision without gaining counsel from the right voices? And you go, well, yeah, I've asked the right voices. I asked my buddies. Okay, there was this king in Israel named Rehoboam in 1 Kings 12. He was chosen to be the king of Israel. He was anointed.
And listen, God anoints leaders to be kings at any age. It's not about the age that makes a leader great. Josiah was a great leader for Israel when he was eight years old. And so, it's not about the age, it's not even about the background. Here's the question, is that king surrendered to the counsel of God? Y'all, we're about to go into a season of decisions for who's gonna be leading our city, our state, our nation, and we need to ask this question, who is leaning the most into the counsel of God? Are we voting for people that are leaning into the counsel of God? And who's aligning the closest with God's heartbeat for our world right now? And that's questions we need to ask.
Well, this king, Rehoboam, he starts consulting. I want the band to come up. He starts consulting his buddies the same age as him. He starts saying, hey, how would you lead the nation? These guys are in their twenties. They've never been a king ever in their life. They've never been in a place of advising the king. They grew up with Rehoboam. He was the son of a king. But none of them have actually ever stood in the place of counseling a king. Well, his father's elders that were 30 years older than Rehoboam, they start trying to tell Rehoboam, hey, here's what you need to do. You're not always gonna like our advice, but we're trying to help you. By the way, just because someone says something you don't like to hear, doesn't mean they're against you. They might be more for you than the people who are flattering you to your face.
So Rehoboam dismisses the elders who are trying to speak truth to him, and he leans into the counsel of his buddies. Now, I love my friends that are my same age. I'm thankful for them. I've got a great friend, Daniel Henshaw, great friend in my life. We're the same age. Grew up together. But if I sat with Daniel and said, hey, how would you raise five kids? He's never raised five kids. No offense, but that's the wrong question to ask someone who's never done it before. If I ask Daniel, hey Daniel, how would you lead Victory Church? He's never been the senior pastor of Victory Church so I need to ask people like my mom, Sharon Daugherty. I need to ask people like gran-gran who raised three boys and then raised grandkids, and now she's a great grandma. I need to ask.
This is why I'm spending time with my elders, Pastor Larry Stockstill, John Bevere. There was a moment where I called John Bevere. I said, hey, how do I raise these kids in this world, in this age right now? And he said, "Paul, I'm so glad you called me". He said, "You know, I raised five kids". I'm like, I know, that's why I'm asking you. And he's like, "It was hard. Lisa threw plates at me in the kitchen. We broke..." You know, I'm so thankful for honest counselors that don't pretend like they've never had a storm in their marriage or never had a fight in their house. And he goes, "Let me tell you, Paul, you're asking the right person". My dad used to say, consider the source. Who's counseling you on the decision you're about to make? Is it someone who's ever walked the path you're walking? Are they 20 years down the road from you or are they in the same season as you? Ask someone who's been there before.
And so, he said, "Thanks for asking". I said, so what would you do? And he's like, "What I wouldn't do is go on Instagram and Facebook and ask a bunch of strangers to weigh in on how to lead my marriage, and my family, and the church 'cause there's a lot of voices who wanna tell you what to do, but they've never walked a day in your shoes. They've never seen success with the advice they're about to give you. And yet they're about to tell you what to do". I'm gonna go live on Insta and ask everybody, how should I do this? Wrong place. He said, "Find three or four trusted fathers in the faith and sit in a place of humility and say, I need counsel". And there, there you will begin to find wisdom. The starting point of wisdom is the fear of God. To say, God, I need you. Lord, I need the fathers of faith.
Here's what the devil's done in 2022, he's created a wedge between sons and fathers in the church. He's created a wedge between daughters and fathers so that you got church hurt, and then the enemy uses voices to placate this victim mentality to go, I am so hurt at the church. I'm hurt at people. But then what happens, is we run, thinking if I leave the place I've been hurt, I'm gonna find freedom from confusion. And yet, we walk into greater confusion by isolating ourselves from the very place that God wants to bring healing. The very place where God wants to bring wisdom is found in a community of broken believers, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters who don't assume or act like we're perfect, but we are leaning into a perfect Father in heaven and we are learning to walk together and grow together, and restore, and reconcile, and build the kingdom of God for such a time as this. Ask the right sources.
And number five, here's my final point right here, come under God's authority. You can't get over what God wants to put over you until you come under what God wants to put over you. James 4:7 says, "Submit yourself to God". "Submit yourself then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you". Now, most people quote the second half of the verse, resist the devil and he's gotta flee. He won't flee unless you're submitted. You can't resist the devil if you're not submitted to God. Now, the word submit is kind of a scary word in 2022 to use. I might get canceled for saying it 'cause people are like, submission, that's an abusive term. I'm not submitting to some narcissistic, abusive, toxic situation. I'm not saying submitting to bad stuff. I'm saying submitting to the Word of God.
This is not narcissistic. This is not toxic. This is for your good! This is for my good! Come back to truth! Come out of confusion, my friends! You go, Paul, how can I trust that book? How can I trust that book? There's a lot of broken people in this book from Genesis to Revelation. But I'll tell you someone who's not broken, God. Jesus. You can trust Him. You could trust Jesus. Right now, the enemy is stirring up this deconstructing confusion mentality to go, I'm just walking away from scripture, and I just wanna define my own way of life and theology. Y'all, we gotta come back to the Word of God. There is confusion out there left and right, but when we come under the covering, submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee, that when I come under the covering of God and say, Lord, I need You.
What does God's Word say? Jesus says, when you pray, start like this. "Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will," not my will, but Thy will. What is the will of God? That you forgive those who've hurt you. How many times do I have to forgive 'em? Three times, four times. Peter asked, seven times. Jesus said, "70 times 7". So if I'm submitted to the Word of God, I've gotta walk in forgiveness. It's hell in the hallway until you start forgiving people. You wanna come outta confusion? Start forgiving people. Start praying God's will. Start praying for heaven to invade earth. Start praying, Lord, reveal what You need to reveal, and heal what You need to heal, and speak to me in a way that's unmistakably clear that it's You.
Proverbs 3:5 says this, "Trust in the Lord". "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not to your own logic. Lean not to your own understanding". But Paul, I've understood a lot. I'm learning a lot. It's 2022, Paul, we gotta come into this new revelation. No, we gotta get back to the old revelation 'cause that's where the truth is found. There's some new philosophy out there that's convincing people we can do this without Jesus, and we can't. We can't. We need Jesus more than ever. We need His presence. We need His power. We need His Word. We need His people. We need the covering of God. We need the elders like gran-gran and mom. And we need people who've walked this path longer than us, who can speak to us in the midst of our confusion, in the midst of our outrage and say, hey, hey, hey, calm down. There's a better way to react right now. There's a better way to walk this out.
So proverb says, "Trust in the Lord. In all your ways, acknowledge. Submit to Him," verse 6, "and He will make your path straight". Would you stand to your feet all over this place? I asked this man if I could share this story and so I'm gonna end it with this story. Yesterday, I was eating egg rolls at Thai Village. Y'all weren't ready for that transition right there. But I was sitting at Thai Village restaurant, had some egg rolls, had my Bible, my laptop. I was finishing my sermon. I'm sitting there. I'm locked in. Someone's shouting across the restaurant. No one really, I didn't think anyone was there, but someone was shouting. I didn't hear what they were saying.
Finally, someone from Thai Village walks over and taps my shoulder, and they're like, "Hey, he's shouting at you". So I look over and he's like, "Daugherty"! I go, yeah? "Victory"? I go, yeah. "Pastor"? Yeah, and he goes... So I get up from my table, it's like, hey, are we good? Like, "No". I was like, I'm Paul. And he goes, "I know your name". I go, okay. So I was like, what's your name? He goes, "That's the reason I left your church. You forgot my name". And I go, man, I'm so sorry. He said, "You met me like three times". I said, I'm sorry. I said, I'm trying. I'm trying to memorize my own kids' names, like it's just a lot of names to memorize. There's a lot of people. I'm really trying. And he goes, "Whoa, just chill". He's like, "You're good". I was like, really? 'Cause I am. I wanna get better.
My dad was so good at memorizing names. I'm trying my best, man. Like, just gimme a shot. He's like, "Okay, okay, calm down". He's like getting emotional 'cause I'm getting emotional and I'm sincere like, I just wanna be a good pastor. I'm trying my best. I said, I'm sorry I let you down. He said, "I forgive you. I can tell you mean it". I said, will you come back to church? Have you found a new church? He's like, "No, I've been looking". I was like, well, come back to Victory. He's like, "Why"? I said, well, we got this figured out. Let's go now. He's like, "We'll see, we'll see, we'll see". And um... And so, we kinda ended it. It just kinda ended. The conversation ended. I didn't know if he would come.
Well, he came to church last night. And at the end of the sermon came down to the altar, gave me two candles from his candle business. Lord, bless this man's candle business in Jesus' name. But he goes, "Did you preach that sermon just to me"? I said, no, I was working on this sermon before I even connected with you for the third time. And he goes, "That message was tailor-made for me". He's like, "God was speaking directly to me, coming out of confusion". I said, praise God, man. Gave him a big hug. We took a picture together. I said, can I share your story? He said, "Yes". I don't know who I'm preaching to right now, but the enemy has been messing with you and it's time to come outta confusion.