Joyce Meyer - Gossip and Slander

Well, thank you for joining me today for «Enjoying Everyday Life». I am glad that you love the Word of God enough that you’d take your time to listen. And I believe you’re gonna hear something today that’s going to help you. This might be a little bit of an «Ouchy» subject, but we need to be reminded of things like this. I wanna talk to you today about gossip and slander. Now, gossip is telling somebody’s faults to somebody else, which there’s no benefit to that, that doesn’t do anybody any good. Slander, however, is just telling outright lies to make somebody look bad.

I wanna make an opening statement. Scripture speaks strongly against gossip. It tells us that God hates gossip. «The power of life and death are in the tongue,» and we should choose our words carefully. Proverbs 18, tells us that, «We eat the fruit of our words,» whether they’re good or bad. Now, to me, that’s interesting. We eat the fruit of our words, whether they’re good or bad. So, if we’re gossiping about somebody else and telling somebody else their faults, then that affects us in a negative way, too. You know, I think a lot of people are unhappy, just because of the way they talk. You can cheer your own self up by just saying better things. Gossip can be defined as: «Information about the life or personal habits of another person, often without knowing the full truth».

God’s word warns us to stay away from people who gossip and not to be the instigator of gossip. We should always guard our words about other people. Love covers sin, it does not spread knowledge about it. I mean, when you think about it, why do we get such a kick out of telling somebody else what’s wrong with somebody? There’s a little phrase we’re gonna deal with today, «I love him but… I love her but…» and then we tell somebody what’s wrong with them. «But I love 'em». I don’t think there are any, «I love you but…» in the Bible. Love always believes the best. Love covers sin, it doesn’t spread the knowledge of it. Slander is also used as another word to describe gossip. Slander can destroy someone’s reputation.

If you know someone who gossips a lot, be sure to pray for them asking God to, «Reveal to them the danger of what they are doing». Or perhaps you might be led by the Holy Spirit to confront them about it. We are to let no foul or polluting language ever come out of our mouth. And that includes: gossip, slander, backbiting, telling tales, foul language, and words that cause strife. Okay, God hates gossip. Now, you know, there’s not a lot of things in the Bible that says «God hates». But he hates strife and discord, and he hates gossip.

Proverbs 6:16–19, «There are six things the Lord hates, and seven that are an abomination to him». The seventh one is an abomination. «Haughty eyes,» which is pride. «A lying tongue,» which is saying things about people that aren’t true. «Hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, and a false witness who breathes out lies,» that would be slander. «And one who sows discord among brothers». And, you know, we teach here strongly to our staff on a regular basis about keeping the strife out of this place. When you have strife, you don’t have blessings. Strife hinders the anointing. And it takes work to keep it out of your life. And one of the things that feeds it is gossip. Gossiping about people. Everybody here, we should cover each other.

You know, if somebody, you hear somebody say something unkind about somebody else, just say, «Well, you know, we’ve all got our faults, but let’s, there’s some good things here we could talk about». Cause that’s true. I found a quote on the internet. «Watch out for the joy-stealers of: gossip, criticism, complaining, fault-finding, and a negative fault-finding attitude». And it’s by Joyce meyer. It’s funny when I look up quotes on a subject and I’m being quoted. 1 Peter 4:8, «Love covers a multitude of sin». Covers, doesn’t spread, it covers. «Above all have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [it forgives and disregards the offenses of others]».

What a difference it would make in the world if people were committed to not saying anything bad about somebody else. I mean, we really shouldn’t tell people’s faults to somebody else, unless there’s a very definite reason why we need to. The Bible says, «If you have something between you and your brother, go to him privately». The first thing you do is go to him privately. Then if he won’t listen, you take two or three others. And then if he doesn’t listen, you tell it to the church. But that’s not talking about just our everyday faults that we all have.

So, in Genesis 9, there’s a good story that I think can be used to relate to this. The ark had landed and I don’t know how long it had been on land, but it was long enough for them to grow grapes and make wine. And it says Noah, «Drank some of his wine, and he became drunk and he lay uncovered in his tent». He was naked. «Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father naked and went and told his two brothers outside». He didn’t need to do that, but he ran out and told 'em, «Dad’s in the tent naked». «But Shem and Japheth took a garment laid it across their shoulders: walked in backward and covered their father’s naked body».

See, that’s so great. One of 'em spread the bad news, and two of 'em covered the bad news. «Their faces were turned the other way so they could not see their father naked. When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done, he said, 'cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers'. And he also said, 'praise be to the Lord, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem. May God extend Japheth’s territory: may Japheth live in the tents of Shem, and may Canaan be the slave of Japheth'».

Now, that’s pretty strong stuff. If we think about this for just a minute, here’s three brothers, a father who drank too much, and was laying in his tent without his clothes on. And, you know, I don’t know all the culture of those days, maybe that was something really bad then, I don’t know. But his one son exposed it, and the other two covered it. And the one that exposed it got cursed, and the two that covered it got blessed. So, we have a goal in mind right now, don’t we? Let’s think about it again. Why do we get such a kick out of me telling, «Well, you won’t believe what they did»! «You know, I love them but…»

I don’t wanna say that anymore, and I have said it. I’ve said it and I’m sure most of you have said it. Well, I really love them, like that makes up for the gossip. Love has to be more than just a word. James 1:26, «Those who consider themselves religious and yet don’t keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and», their work, «Their religion is worthless». Hmm, according to this, no matter how many good works we do, if we don’t bridle our tongue, it’s all worthless. What we say is a lot more important than what we think it is. And I think sometimes a message like this is not something that you don’t know, but it’s something you need to be reminded of because these are easy areas to get sloppy in. It’s like we’re doing okay for a while, and then we start going the other way.

«I love you but…» instead of talking to others about people’s faults, we need to love them the way they are, not the way we would like them to be. And we need to remember all the stuff that God puts up with off of us, and loves us unconditionally. Listen, if you’re looking for a perfect spouse, a perfect church, a perfect job, a perfect friend, you’re gonna be looking your whole life. Because there is nobody and no place that doesn’t have good points and bad points. Don’t be a fault-finder. Recently, one of my children told me, I was telling, I did one of those, «I love him but…» I was talking to her. And somebody had done a couple of things that irritated me, and it’s kind of a habitual thing with them. And I do love 'em, but this one area aggravates me.

And so, I was telling her about it. And she said, «You know, when you talk about that person, you always tell me what’s wrong with 'em but you never say anything good about 'em». There’s nothing more fun than having one of your children correct you. Now God tries to correct us privately. But if we won’t listen, he will do it publicly. And that’s what gets painful and embarrassing. Well, for five minutes, I had my feelings hurt. See, that’s our defense mechanism to not face the truth. We’ll get upset or we get our feelings hurt. And then I remembered that the Bible says, «Only a fool hates correction». I thought, «Okay, I guess I better consider if I’m actually guilty here».

And I do say a lot of positive things about people. But I was guilty of talking about what I didn’t like about this person. And there’s actually a couple of people that I could think of that I did that on a pretty regular basis. Well, hey, I figured two is not terrible. I mean, it could’ve been 10 or 20. Don’t laugh at me, count up the ones you’re like that with. Often the things that bother us are not real faults. They’re just things that we don’t like. I have a hard time with people who talk excessively. It’s just, and I talk. Believe me, I can hold my own. But have you ever tried to have a conversation over the phone with somebody who will not let you say anything? And even when you say something, they keep talking over you. It’s like, okay, I’ll just sit here for 20 minutes while you get your conversation out and then I’ll say, «Goodbye».

And that is a fault. People shouldn’t do that. But it’s not my business to go tell somebody else their fault. And I think this is something we all need to hear, because I think for some crazy reason we think that because it’s true, it’s okay to pass it on. And it’s not, if it’s saying something bad about their character or their, I mean, we’re supposed to do unto others as we want them to do unto us. And so, how many of you would prefer that people keep your faults to themselves and not tell somebody else? Well, then we have to sow the same thing. And, you know, a lot of times what we’re having trouble with may be a «Me» problem, not a «Them» problem. It may be something that just, we don’t like dealing with, but it’s not actually a fault in the other person.

When I was more of a carnal Christian, I was a major fault-finder. And although I feel I’ve been delivered from it, I apparently fell back into the old habit pattern for just a little bit. But I’m glad that God corrected me. I believe that God’s correction is a sign of his love. And really only a fool hates correction. It’s taken me a lot of years but I finally believe that. The correction was good for me. And now it gets to be good for all of you. And probably millions of people watching by TV. See we all get a benefit out of my mistake. Fault-finding or being critical is part of our old nature, the flesh. And it is something we will have to resist because it never completely goes away.

Now, Matthew 18:15, «If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you’ve won them over». What does the Bible say about judging other people? Matthew 7:1-5, «Don’t judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] Deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you».

Now, if we really believe this, this is telling us, if you do that to people, somebody’s gonna do it to you. You know that everything we do is a seed we’re sowing. Thoughts are seeds, words are seeds, attitudes are seeds, and seeds produce a harvest. And so, we can control a lot of our future by just sowing good seed now, before the harvest comes back. «Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that’s in your brother’s eye but you don’t become aware of and consider the beam of timber that’s in your own eye»? One translation says, «Why do you become aware of the speck in your brother’s eye when you have a telephone pole in your own eye»? And «How can you say to your brother, 'let me get the tiny speck out of your eye, when there’s a beam of timber in your own eye'? You hypocrite,» whoo! «First, get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye».

In other words, when we let God deal with our own faults, then we can become mature enough that we can actually help other people in a right, loving way to get over their faults. Otherwise, if we’re doing it through problems of our own, we’re gonna not do it in a right way. I once saw a definition of judging as setting yourself up as God in another person’s life. Great example. You all know this story, John 8:1-9, «But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. And early in the morning (at Dawn), he came back into the temple [court], and the people came to him in crowds, he sat down and was teaching them. When the scribes and pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery. And they made her stand in the middle of the court and put the case before him».

Now, even in this situation, they didn’t just deal with her privately. They brought her right in the middle of everybody so they could embarrass her. «'teacher, ' they said, 'this woman has been caught in the very act of adultery. Now Moses and the law commanded us that such [women—offenders] Shall be stoned to death. But what do you say? [what would be your sentence]'»? And of course, they were doing this to try to catch Jesus in a trap. «This they said to (test) him, hoping they might find a charge on which to accuse him. But Jesus,» and I love this part, «Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with his finger».

Now, this is my own idea. I think that he did that to take time to hear from his Heavenly Father about how to handle the situation. And sometimes we just pop off an answer, and we’d be better off to take a little time to think, «Now, how would God want me to handle this»? Because it was true that she’d been caught in sin, and it was true that the law commanded that people like that be stoned. But Jesus, he’s always got the perfect answer. «When they persisted with their question, he raised himself up and said, 'let him who is without sin among you be the first one to throw a stone'». Boy, that’s powerful. «'let the one among you that has no sin be the first one to throw a stone'. Then he bent down and went on writing on the ground». Wouldn’t you love to know what he was writing? Or was he just doodling, just waiting on…? You know, sometimes saying nothing is more powerful than saying something.

All right, one woman one time, she had a son that was really, he just did not talk to her properly, and she would talk back, and they’d just get in a big fight. And she said that God told her when he said things like that to her just to be completely quiet and then that would give God time to deal with him. And I love that thought and I think it’s true. Sometimes we try to defend ourselves, and if we would just be quiet, God would defend. 'cause he knew he wasn’t acting right. But when you start arguing with somebody, it deflects them away from what they’re doing, and you just go back and forth. But if you’re just quiet, then God can deal with it. Being quiet is not easy, is it? And so, «They listened to him, and began going out, conscience-stricken, one by one, from the oldest down to the last one of them, till Jesus was left alone, with the woman standing there before him in the center of the court». Uninformed opinions get us in a lot of trouble.