Joyce Meyer - This Hurts Good - Part 1

TOPICS: Spiritual Growth, Selfishness

I’m gonna call this one, «This Hurts Good!» 'cause, you know, when you really understand, when you’re maybe going through a tough time, that it is actually working something good in you, you can say, «This hurts good. It hurts: but it’s digging something out of me that doesn’t belong there. And God’s gonna use it to set me free». I wanna start in 1 Corinthians 13. You know, love really is the absolute greatest thing in the world. I study this subject a lot because it is the most important thing to me. Jesus said, «I have one new commandment to give you. And in it, all the law and all the prophets will be fulfilled». It’s pretty amazing when he said, «I can sum it all up in this. I’ll make it easy for you. There’s only one thing that I really need you to do. And if you do that, you’ll be doing all the rest. Love one another just as I have loved you».

Now, that’s a pretty big order. «Love one another just as I have loved you. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples». How is the unbeliever supposed to recognize us? It’s by love. You don’t just love the people you know and you naturally love, but you love strangers, you love foreigners, you love people that are not like you. And the more you love, the more you give yourself away, the happier you’re going to be. Dave was at lunch yesterday and the waitress where he went, recognized him and came, and was talking to him. And I don’t know what all they were talking about, but in the process of it, she said, «Well, what about me»? She didn’t have any idea what was going on at the conference, but it’s just indicative of how that phrase comes up in us so often. It’s like, «Well, everybody else has got it so good, but what about me»?

But you know, that’s not really true. Everybody has their stuff that they go through. We may not all go through it at the same time, but we all go through stuff that’s unpleasant. But like I said, last night, «If you can learn to embrace it rather than to fight it, it will be a lot easier on you». How many of you believe that if you just don’t fight it, but you just say, «All right, God, do whatever work it is you want to do in me,» it will be easier? So, here’s what the Bible says about love. Let’s really pay attention to this because love behaves a certain way. It’s not just a word. It’s not just a theory. It’s not just a sermon we preach, but love can be seen in certain ways.

«Love endures long and is patient and kind: love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy», because love is happy when somebody else gets blessed. «Love is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride): love is not rude», it’s amazing how rude the world has gotten today. «It does not act (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love that is (God’s love in us)». And you don’t wanna miss that because we only can love because God has loved us first. So, anytime, that we do anything good for anybody else or we show anybody kindness or patience, it’s God working through us. Because I don’t know about you, but I can remember when I couldn’t do that. «It does not insist on its own rights or its own way», uh-oh. «For it is not self-seeking», see, love is not selfish. It’s not self-centered.

«It is not touchy or fretful», you know, love doesn’t get its feelings hurt every time somebody maybe just doesn’t make it feel perfect. «It takes no account of the evil done to it», that’s a big one, «It pays no attention to a suffered wrong». Wow! «It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready», and, this is one of my favorites, «Is ever ready to believe the best of every person». I have found that my life is so much better if I believe the best, instead of suspecting the worst. You say, «Well, what if you believe the best and the person is actually really not a good person»?

Well, at least I’m happy. Because when you believe the best of people, you’re not tormented by all the bad thoughts that you could think about them. «Its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails». I love it. You know, I would imagine if every married couple started every morning reading those four or five scriptures together that we wouldn’t have very many divorces. What do you think? What would happen when you first got married if your goal was, «I’m gonna live my life to see how happy I can make you»? But what do we do? We get married and we expect them to make us happy. And the minute they don’t, then we get upset. What about every relationship you get into if you start from the beginning thinking, «I’m gonna do my best to make you happy. I’m gonna build you up, and edify you, and encourage you, and say everything that I possibly can to you that’s good».

Now, just a few comments I wanna make. Dying to self or selfishness will hurt. But it is a pain that brings freedom. So, it actually hurts good, whether you know it or not. It is a pain that means you are healing and you are transforming into the image of Christ. Unless we die to sin, or to self, we have a pain or a misery that never ends. I had a back problem for many, many, many years and I was constantly going to the chiropractor. I mean, 20 years, I don’t think I missed a week going to the chiropractor once and sometimes twice. And finally, I went to a new chiropractor and after about three visits, he said, «Well, we need to take some images and find out what’s going on with your hip and your back», because it would start in my hip.

Well, long story short, I had a pain that was never gonna stop unless I had a certain kind of surgery because they found out that I had a birth defect and my hip socket was oblong, trying to fit into a round socket. So, it would never stay in place. They could put it in place, but it would slip back out and then that would make my back hurt. So, I had a total hip replacement, which apparently, if you watch it, is extremely brutal. Because they literally take a saw and saw your bone off. And it hurt. They gave me pain medicine, said, «Do not wait to take this until you’re hurting. You take it every four hours because you have to stay ahead of the pain».

Okay, it hurt, but it got a little better, little better, got a little better, little better, little better, and you know what? Now, it doesn’t hurt anymore. But if I wouldn’t have gone through that pain… Now, come on, there’s a spiritual lesson in this. If I wouldn’t have gone through that pain, I would have spent the rest of my life in pain, spending all kinds of money trying to get it fixed, but actually really ignoring the problem. How many times will you have to go for prayer before you deal with the problem? How many times will you have to go for therapy before you deal with the problem? How many times will you have to complain to your friends before you deal with the problem?

I remember years ago, I was praying for Dave to change, and I mean, I was praying, «God, you’ve got to change Dave. This is just, you’ve got to do something, God! I can’t take this anymore! You have to change Dave»! And it was like God said, «Excuse me, the problem is not Dave». And I thought, «Well, there’s only me and him. Who is it»? And I meant it. And God spent the next three days showing me what it was like to live with me. And I cried for the whole three days. And it hurt to see it, but it hurt good. I didn’t know it then, but I realized later that, «Oh, that was one of the best things that God could have ever done for me because only the truth will make you free».

And it’s not the truth about somebody else that will make you free. It’s the truth about you that will make you free. When we’re having problems, don’t let your go-to first thought, be, «What’s wrong with you». «If you wouldn’t.». «If you would.». And maybe it is them, but first say, «God, show me if I’m doing something that’s causing this issue in my life. Show me». You need to get good at that. Don’t ever feel bad when God convicts you of something that you’re doing wrong. Grow to the point spiritually where you rejoice when God shows you what’s wrong with you. And thank God that he loves you too much to leave you where you are. Like Chris said this morning, «You can come as you are, but you’re not supposed to stay as you are».

I believe with all my heart that a truly born-again Christian cannot stay the same. I don’t think it’s possible to love Jesus and stay the same. So, if you’re not changing little by little on a regular, continuous basis, if every year you can’t look back and see some kind of even a little improvement, then you need to have a come-to-Jesus meeting and get very serious. Being selfish makes us very unhappy because it is not the way God intended us to live. He did not create us to turn in on ourselves and try to take care of ourselves and try to make everybody else make us happy. He created us to give out. He pours in and he wants us to pour it out. He pours in and he wants us to pour it out.

Now, if you’re just letting him pour in, but you’re not pouring out, you’re gonna come to the point where you’re not receiving anything anymore because there’s no place to put anything. A girl that came to my meeting for years and years was coming and no longer receiving anything. She wasn’t getting anything out of my teaching and she had for years. So, she went to God and started praying because she thought I had sin in my life. «Joyce must have sin in her life because the anointing is just not there. I’m not getting anything out of this».

Well, how many times do we do that? We’re not getting anything. And so, something’s got to be wrong with this preacher. Something’s wrong in this church because I’m just not being fed anymore. Well, as she prayed for me, God said, «Joyce has not lost her anointing. She’s not in sin. You have listened for so long and done nothing with it that you are so full there is no place left to put anything. And so, unless you start giving out, you’re never gonna get anymore». So, I wanna ask you, what are you doing for somebody else?

And you know, if you have to honestly say nothing, then that’s progress because at least you’re realizing now where you’re at and what you need to do. You say, «Well, I don’t know what to do». Oh, listen, all you have to do is listen to people and they will tell you what they need. They need encouragement. They need compliments. They need to be built up. They need to be edified. They need help paying their rent this month. Everybody has needs. And if we listen, which love listens. And God told me one time, I was praying for him to help somebody. And he said, «Stop asking me to do for people what you could easily do and just don’t want to». I’ll wait.

I remember a girl in our office, long time ago, she told me this girl that had moved there from another state to go to work for us, it had taken pretty much all of her money to move. And so, she didn’t have a bed. She was sleeping on a mattress on the floor. And she said, «But we got together and we prayed that God would give her a bed». Several people got together. Now, don’t you imagine that several people together could have chipped in a little money and they could have bought her a bed? Who do we think that all these miracles that people need are gonna come through? They don’t fall out of the sky. God works through people. We are partners with God. We work for God and he takes care of us.

So, I’ve had some pretty radical change in my life in the last, oh, probably starting 20 years ago, but it just keeps getting better and better and better. I just simply won’t put up with too many days of not doing something for somebody else. I’m just like, «God, you’ve got to show me something I can do for somebody else. You just have to. I can’t just not do anything for anybody else». You say, «Well, Joyce, you’re doing stuff for people all the time. You’re preaching». Yeah, but God made it clear to me a long time ago, «This is your public life. You’ve got a private life and I expect you to do in your private life what you teach everybody else to do».

So, I don’t just get to tell you to do this. I have to take the lead in the spirit by doing it myself. And I tell you, I can sit in the morning, in my prayer time, my time with God, and I don’t know, maybe I’m tired and you know, I don’t know, bordering on maybe having a bad mood. And you know, I’m not into one yet, full on, but I’m kind of thinking about it. Joyce and I am telling you the truth. I can purposely start thinking about what I can do for somebody else that day. And I start getting energized. And I start getting happy. And I start getting excited. Because it is just flat out fun to make other people happy. And all I can do is ask you to try it. And not only that, the way you live will affect your children.

Dave and I have four grown children ranging from 59 to 45. We have four children, 12 grandchildren, 10 great grandchildren. Got four more grandchildren that are gonna be born between now and next January. One of 'em is a set of twins. So, all I do all year is write checks. Matter of fact, we get them all out at once, we get all the cards. And I sign 'em all. And my daughter, when the birthdays and the showers and the anniversaries and whatever comes, she just fills them in and we send it off. But you know what I am so proud of? All four of our children are real aggressive givers. And I’ll tell you something, that’s what makes a family powerful. And that also will help you stay together as a family.

And there’s different things you can do. My daughter’s sitting down here, she is really good with flowers and gardens and bird feeders and things like that. Well, I would like stuff like that, but I can plant something and kill it as fast as I plant it. And so, I asked her this year, I said, «Will you just get me a couple of pots, really nice pots with flowers in 'em for my front porch»? Well, now I have an entire backyard and front yard full of flowers. Because she said, «Oh! There’s something that you want. There’s something I can do for you! Finally, there’s something I can do for you». And so, every Thursday, she spends from four to eight hours at my house, deadheading my plants, getting rid of all the weeds, cleaning out the bird feeders, and I just sit in my recliner and look at the birds.

See, well, you all have parents, obviously, but don’t just expect your parents to keep doing everything for you all the time. I don’t care how much money they have or how well off they are. Even if they don’t need you to do a single thing for them, we need to do things for one another, because we have no real relationship if one does all the taking and another one does all the giving. That’s not relationship. When Jesus wanted to wash Peter’s feet, Peter said, «Oh, no, Lord, you can’t wash my feet». And Jesus said, «If I don’t wash you, you have no part in me». And I love that. He’s basically saying, «If you don’t do something for me, then we have no real relationship».