Joyce Meyer - Dying to Live - Part 2

TOPICS: Spiritual Growth, Selfishness

You know, how many of you, it irritates you when you do something for somebody and they don’t even say, «Thank you»? Well, see, then you have to look at it like God’s having me look at it now. We shouldn’t do it, just, they should thank you, but that’s between them and God. You’re not gonna answer for them. See, that’s the thing. We have to quit responding wrong to other people’s wrongs. And whatever they do wrong, we still need to choose to do what’s right, because we’re only gonna answer for ourselves. We’re not gonna answer for anybody else. Amen?

Romans 13:14. «Clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for [indulging] The flesh». If you don’t wanna bake a cake, then don’t buy cake mix and take it home. Don’t make provision for your flesh. If you don’t wanna walk in the flesh, don’t have everything available to enable you to do it, and then think you won’t. «Put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature». Our thoughts, they’re so much a part of our life. Where we think is where we’re gonna end up going. Where the mind goes, the man follows. And if somebody has hurt you and you think about that and think about it and think about it and think about it, you’ll end up telling 'em off or you’re gonna stay mad or something that’s not gonna be pretty.

But if you think about the good things in your life and you think about the things that God has done for you… I was so proud of Chris when she told me, when she found out she’d been adopted, and she said, «Well, God formed me in my mother’s womb, whose ever womb that was». See, she knew enough about the word to know that, yes, it mattered, but she didn’t let it take her out and make her miserable for 20 years, and get her all confused and, you know, have to have 30 years of counseling, and, you know, she just knew that she belonged to God. And if her birth mother, which she did contact, at one point, through the social services and her mother didn’t wanna see her and she found out years later that her mother all of her life lived about two blocks from her. But she’s confident. She knows who she is in Christ. Amen?

And see, instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for herself, she’s taking what the devil did to her and she’s turning it around on him and helping other people that have been hurt like she was hurt. And that’s what we need to stay busy doing, not just trying to get everybody back that hurts us. And so, she told the social worker to give her mother a message since she wouldn’t talk to her. Just tell her that I’m happy that I had a great life and thank her for giving birth to me. See, that’s the way to respond to stuff like that. Instead of getting mad and hating somebody. Paul disciplined himself. We talk about dying to self or killing the flesh. Well, how do you do that? God doesn’t want you to take your own life. That’s not what he’s talking about. But I’ve got this figured out. It took me a while, but I figured it out. You can kill anything if you don’t feed it. Even weeds will die if they have no water and no sunshine.

So, let’s just say that, we’ll pretend, although it’s true, we’ll pretend that I married Dave 57 years ago, and I’ve got a rebellious spirit because I’ve made all these promises to myself that «No man is ever gonna tell me what to do. No man is ever gonna hurt me again. No man is ever gonna push me around,» because that’s all I had from men. I married when I was 18-years-old and he ran around with other women all the time and wouldn’t work and was a thief and ended up going to prison for writing bad checks. So, I had years of abuse at home, left when I was 18, married for five years to this guy who abandoned me in other states. And that was just another five-year nightmare.

And then, Dave Meyer comes into my life. Yeah. And he had been praying for a wife. He was born again, spirit filled. He was 26. He was wanting to get married and he was praying for a wife and he believed that faith without works is dead. And so, he was dating three different women when he met me. He not only prayed for a wife he was working at getting one, amen? And so, he pulled up in front of my mom and dad’s house one night to pick up the guy that he worked with that lived upstairs and I was out washing my mother’s car and he tried to flirt with me. Well, you know, I’m like, he said, «Hey, when you’re finished washing that car, you wanna wash mine»? I said, «Buddy, if you want your car washed, wash it yourself».

Now, you talk about miracles. He said the thing that went off in him is, «That’s the girl for me». Now, who would wanna bite that off on purpose? Amen? I told you last night that Dave got baptized in the Holy Spirit sitting on the toilet at work. And he said, this morning, he said, «I figured out why I got baptized in the spirit there, because I was getting ready to go into a messy situation». Dave had no idea what he was getting when he got me. No idea at all. We had five dates and got married.

Now, this is how stupid this is. I mean, it was actually, it was such a divine appointment from God. And David had this great experience with God for several years where he just, God taught him things and he grew spiritually and he was filled with the spirit. And he says, and I believe it, he said, «I know that God was getting me ready to marry you». Because not just anybody could have put up with me. And sometimes you shouldn’t give up on some of the people that’s a little hard to put up with because they may end up turning into something great. Amen? Somebody needs to stick with the hard cases. Amen?

So, we had five dates, got married, and after three weeks he looked at me and he said, «What’s wrong with you»? I thought, «What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? I don’t have anything wrong with me. If you would change, I’d be happy. If you would quit playing golf all the time, I’d be happy». It was always, «If you would do something, I would be happy». Well, you know, we were going to church every Sunday and I wasn’t really growing as a Christian because I wasn’t hearing what I needed to hear. I mean, the stuff I did hear was truth and it was good, but it was more of the doctrinal side of religion, not the practical side of how to live and how to become like Christ.

And so, because I’ve been hurt by so many men, I was very rebellious and I argued when I didn’t get my way. I got mad when I didn’t get my way. I pouted when I didn’t get my way and I would feel sorry for myself sometimes for two, three days at a time. One time I didn’t talk to Dave: I didn’t speak a word to him for three weeks. For three weeks. Because I was determined that I was gonna get it my way or he was going to be miserable. Amen? And you know, people that are unhappy, now, listen, people that are unhappy want to make other people unhappy. So, if you’re living with somebody that’s unhappy, I can tell you, right now, you can’t make 'em happy. So, you might as well go ahead and be happy and enjoy your life.

And that’s what Dave did. And it ultimately was one of the things that changed me. He was so stable. He would not let me upset him. He wouldn’t let me make him miserable. He’s like, «Look, I’ve tried everything to make you happy and you’re not going to be happy until you decide to be happy. So, I’m going to enjoy my life. And if you want to come along, that’s fine. If not, I’m still gonna enjoy my life». He never told me he was gonna leave me. He never threatened to divorce me. He believed marriage was forever. So, after I got baptized in the Holy Spirit and I started really studying the word.

See, you’re not gonna learn, you’re not gonna, I don’t wanna say this and make some pastor mad, but you’re not going to learn all that you need to learn just sitting on a church pew, listening to somebody else preach. You’re just not. And you’re not gonna be a victorious Christian in however long they preach now, 30 minutes on Sunday morning. You’re just not. I think when I went to the Lutheran church, the sermon was like 20 minutes long. Well, I’ll tell you what, I needed a lot more than 20 minutes of something with the problems that I had. And you know, if you have problems in your life with other people, maybe you need to consider that some of it could be you and you might take ownership of it and stop just blaming everything on somebody else.

It’s not somebody else’s job to keep you happy. It’s your job to be happy. It’s my job to try to make people happy. But if I’m not making you happy, you can’t blame that on me because you can get what you need from God. Amen? And some of you, I know, probably are married to some very dysfunctional people, don’t become codependent on them. Don’t wait every day to see what kind of mood they’re gonna be in before you can decide what kind of mood you’re gonna be in. Amen? And believe me, they won’t like it, but it could be the very thing that changes 'em. Because Dave was consistent in front of me it made me think, «You could actually have peace»? I didn’t know what that was. I grew up in a household that was nothing but war and strife. I didn’t know what peace was, but I saw him have it.

And see, that’s why we need to grow up and let Christ live through us so people can see that they can have peace. So, they can see that they don’t have to spend their life worrying about everything. So, when God started dealing with me, and I’m reading these books about dying to self and I had received enough of the love of God, and I was so in love with him that I actually started to want to change. And let me tell you, if you don’t want to change, you are not going to change. Nobody is gonna talk you into changing. If you don’t want to, you won’t. But if you really want to, you will. You can’t change yourself. Only God can change you. But if you really want to change, try this, study the Bible in the areas where you have problems. If you’ve got a bad temper, study everything the word says about anger and temper. You know, if you’ve got a bad temper and your heart’s full of unforgiveness, it’s not gonna do you any good to go out and buy a book on prosperity and healing. Amen?

«How to become a millionaire overnight». No, you need how to die to self. You need to be at this conference. Amen? So, here’s the way, I had to have the last word in everything. How many of you just can’t stand to not have the last word in an argument? Okay, well, I’m gonna throw some help out to you. So, you know, I died to that little, little tiny bit at a time. And so, Dave and I’d be having an argument. And he didn’t argue too much. He’d have his say and then just walk off and that infuriated me. And so, sometimes, after he’d walk off, I’d still have my last say as he walked down the hall. And then I improved a little bit, but I remember doing this. He had said the last thing and he was walking down the hall and I went… so, I still had the last word. He just didn’t know it, but God knew it.

But see every time you can be wrong and not fight to be right, a little bit more of that thing that’s got a stronghold on you will become weaker and weaker. The next time it’ll get a little weaker. Next time it’ll get a little weaker. And then pretty soon you’ll get to like, «I cannot believe I acted like that». And it won’t be hard at all for you to control yourself because now that thing doesn’t have control over you, you have control over it. And you have to do that in every area of your life. Whatever area that God is dealing with you in, that’s the area that you let him work with you on. Paul said he disciplined himself. And every time you say the word «Discipline,» people usually groan. «Ugh»!

Well, you know, discipline is your friend, not your enemy. Discipline helps you be what you say you wanna be, but you never will be if you don’t learn how to discipline yourself. You have to know how to say «No» to yourself and mean it. Amen? And we don’t like that. The flesh doesn’t like that. Well, when you first start telling it «No» about things, it’ll pout and fuss, and get all down, feel sorry for itself. But the more you do it, the more the flesh will have to be quiet and you’ll have the victory. Is there anybody here that’s kind of walked this road that I’m talking about and you see things that you’ve gotten free from by just, see, that’s the way it happens. It’s God doing it through you, but he’s not gonna do it without your cooperation. You have to cooperate with him.

And our part is to study the word, spend lots of time with God, let him love us, love him back. And I’m telling you, the more you fall in love with Jesus, the more you’re going to want to do everything that he wants you to do. And when you want to, the more you want to, the less hard it is. It’s only really hard when you really don’t want to. So, Paul said, «[like a boxer[, I Buffet my body". Well, a lot of the body of Christ has got that wrong. They think it says "I 'boo-fay' my body". The two words are spelled the same, but they mean two different things. "I handle it roughly, I discipline it by hardships".

Now, maybe, he was talking about fasting. Maybe he was just talking about what I'm talking about here about just saying "No" to his flesh. "I subdue it for fear that after proclaiming to others the gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit, [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit]». And see, one of the things that I just, I do not want and I won’t put up with in myself is, I’m not gonna be a phony. If I’m going to preach it to you, I’m gonna live it. If it’s the last thing I do. Amen? And look at this scripture. 1 Corinthians 10:23, «All things are legitimate [permissible, and we are free to do anything we please]», wow, sounds pretty good, Paul, «But not all things are helpful, (expedient, profitable, and wholesome)».

Paul knew that he no longer lived under the law. For example, he knew that he didn’t have to discipline himself to go to heaven, but he said, I’m gonna choose the better thing because I know that will be, I don’t have to do it, but I’m going to do it because it will be the better thing for me to do. «All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] And edifying [to spiritual life]». Let’s talk about character for a minute. Priscilla said this morning that «Some people get a limp in their integrity or they get a limp in their character».

Do you know that lots of Christians still lie? And that’s on the big 10 list. Amen? You know how many people in our world today live together and aren’t married? Matter of fact, it’s actually encouraged today. Like you should try it out first and see if you’re gonna be happy. Well, the world can say whatever it wants to. That’s not what the Bible says. Amen? And I’m not trying to make you mad at me, but somebody has to stand up and speak the truth. That is not the way that God wants us to live. Besides that, if somebody doesn’t think enough of you to wanna make a commitment then I would find somebody else, anyway. Amen? Because you’re worth more than that. You’re worth more than that.

And you know, a lot of people today, you ask 'em what integrity is, they don’t even know what the word means. And it means «To be honest in everything that you do. To be honest, character, have godly character». «Walk in the Fruit of the Spirit and above all that you do, walk in love. Love covers a multitude of sins». Love doesn’t expose other people’s faults. It covers them with love. Don’t gossip. Don’t be jealous of what God hasn’t given you. Somebody else has something and you don’t have it, be happy for them. And if God wants you to have it, he’ll give it to you, too. Amen?