Joyce Meyer - Say It Like You Mean It
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Hi, friends. Welcome to Joyce Meyer's Talk It Out podcast where my friends and I talk about God's word and the real stuff of life and we hold nothing back. I'm Ginger Stache, with Erin Cluley, Jai, and of course, Joyce Meyer. We're all in different stages of life. A young career woman and mom to two sweet kiddos. An accomplished songwriter facing an unexpected new life's journey. A leader, creative, an author with a heart for adventure. And a world-renowned Bible teacher whose personal story has impacted millions. And there's you, because sometimes you just need to talk about life with your girlfriends. So, consider yourself one of us, and let's talk it out.
Ginger Stache: Welcome everyone. We are so thrilled that you are here with us, and we have not only a great topic to talk about, we're gonna talk аbout: say it like you mean it, the power of words in our lives. But we also have a special guest. Chelsea Perry is with us. Chelsea, I just wanna touch you. Chelsea's one of my favorite people. She is so talented. She's an artist, a musician. She's been on staff at your family's church and doing incredible things with kids, musicals. And I could go on and on because I love Chelsea. But anyway, you also, which I appreciate this about you, too, you and I both need help with our mouth sometimes. I'll just say it because I love you.
Chelsea Perry: It's true. It's totally true.
Ginger Stache: So, today, we're talking about all that. But another reason you'll be glad you're here is because Joyce has fabulous boots on.
Erin Cluley: She does.
Ginger Stache: Fabulous boots.
Joyce Meyer: White boots, white boots.
Jai Williams: They are nice, wedged boots.
Chelsea Perry: Those are cute.
Ginger Stache: And they took a little bit of work to find.
Joyce Meyer: I had to try on seven pair of boots to get a pair that fit me. Do you know, that I have known Chelsea since she was in kindergarten? Ladies: wow.
Joyce Meyer: Her and Danny went to kindergarten together. So, I've been in her life, almost her whole life.
Chelsea Perry: Yep. I can't remember a day not knowing... You.
Jai Williams: You.
Joyce Meyer: You.
Chelsea Perry: Mama Joyce. It's true.
Erin Cluley: That's so special.
Chelsea Perry: It's true.
Ginger Stache: So, have you been teaching her, all along, about...?
Joyce Meyer: She calls me when she's in trouble or when she doesn't want to get in trouble.
Chelsea Perry: It's true. So, this is a special day.
Erin Cluley: Were you like the cool aunt?
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Perry: Absolutely.
Joyce Meyer: Mama Joyce.
Ginger Stache: Which calls have you made more? The, "I need to know how not to get into trouble," or, "I'm already in it".
Chelsea Perry: I don't know. Probably, I need to know how not to get in trouble, I think.
Joyce Meyer: She usually sends me all these pictures of when she's doing crazy stuff.
Chelsea Perry: Yeah, we have a lot of fun together.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that's awesome. Well, like I said, today, we're gonna be talking about the power of our words and especially speaking, God's word. And using our words for good and not evil. And that's been one of the things, in my life, and I'm sure so many of us, that I've had a long way to go and a lot to learn. And Joyce, you've talked about this for a long time, and I always need it.
Joyce Meyer: I always say my gift is in my mouth. But my biggest problem is also in my mouth. That doesn't seem like it should be fair, right?
Chelsea Perry: Right, right.
Joyce Meyer: But I've had some problems with my mouth. And thank God, we've come a long way. I don't know that anybody will ever get 100% control over their mouth until they're, no longer have a flesh and they're in heaven with Jesus.
Ginger Stache: Right.
Joyce Meyer: But it is very amazing how many people that do not have any idea, and I'm sure there's people watching, I mean, they have no idea that their words make any difference at all. Ladies: wow, yeah.
Joyce Meyer: And so, I think, that's my heart today. I want people to understand that "The power of life and death is in your tongue. And those who indulge it must eat the fruit of it". That's where they get that phrase, "You're gonna eat those words". Well, actually, it's true. We do eat our words.
Erin Cluley: Can I give the... I wanna give you guys an update. So, a couple of weeks ago, you challenged, you and Ginger came up with the challenge to say, "Thank you," to your husbands instead of coming back with other words, when you don't need their help.
Ginger Stache: "I knew that".
Erin Cluley: Yeah, yeah.
Ginger Stache: Words like that, "I knew that," like...
Erin Cluley: "Stop talking, I got it," right. Well, I agreed to do it, and I haven't done well.
Joyce Meyer: Oh, Ginger and I did so good.
Jai Williams: I thought this was a praise report.
Erin Cluley: But honestly, I just kinda put it out of my mind. Last night, I had hurt my husband's feelings because of the words that I said. And you guys came back to my mind. And I thought, "This was the challenge, this was the moment," so, I said, "I apologize. I want to say thank you for offering help". And I watched his face, and he didn't know what to do with it. And in that moment, I thought, "My words really do affect the way that he feels about himself". And I'm sorry it took me so long to get it. But now, I'm trying.
Joyce Meyer: Well, I think Dave figured out after about the second, "Thank you," that I was...
Erin Cluley: Something fishy's goin' on.
Joyce Meyer: That "This is not for real". It didn't take tim too long either, did it?
Ginger Stache: He caught on, I think, on number one. Yeah, it was like, "Thank you"? Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: See, Chelsea, our husbands like to tell us things that we don't need to know. Like, "Be careful, now, when you go down the steps, hold onto the banister".
Joyce Meyer: Every time...
Erin Cluley: You didn't know that, did you?
Jai Williams: "Really"?
Joyce Meyer: Every time I go down a set of steps, every time, Dave tells me, "Now, hold onto the banister". And I used to say, "Do you think that I am two"? You know. And now, I say, "Thank you".
Erin Cluley: And that's it. That's all we say.
Joyce Meyer: "Thank you".
Ginger Stache: It takes a great deal of restraint.
Jai Williams: It does. And like I said, even, I think I shared this the last time, like even with my ex-husband, we were having a heated discussion, which is often, and I just was like, "You're right". I said that to that was the hardest thing. But I said, "You're right". And it changed the entire tone of the conversation.
Ginger Stache: Wow, that's some powerful words.
Jai Williams: I was like, "You know what? You know what? You're right".
Chelsea Perry: This is really helpful.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, you need to get this 'cause you...
Chelsea Perry: I just got engaged. This is really helpful.
Jai Williams: This is even with an ex-husband, it's like...
Joyce Meyer: Wait till they start to, and they're trying to help you. But if you have one of these personalities, like...
Erin Cluley: Wonderful!
Joyce Meyer: You know, every one of us has the same personality. And you don't want people telling you things that you already know. But get ready, because they will. Because it's in a man to protect you.
Chelsea Perry: Wow.
Joyce Meyer: So, they think they're protecting you. If I get a pair of scissors out, Dave says, "Be careful you don't cut yourself".
Ginger Stache: "Don't run with those".
Joyce Meyer: "Don't run with those".
Jai Williams: "Hold it the correct way".
Joyce Meyer: If I get a knife out, "Be careful you don't cut yourself". So, anyway, we better get to the mouth.
Ginger Stache: Well, Chelsea, we got you, girl. So, you know, now that you're engaged, we'll just have all kinds of advice for you.
Chelsea Perry: I'll just say, "Thank you".
Joyce Meyer: We've got marriage books, we've got marriage...
Chelsea Perry: I love it. I'll take all the help I can get.
Ginger Stache: Well, we are going to start with Joyce talking about how scriptural all this is, because the Bible tells us that the tongue can be like a fire. And so, let's listen to get us all started in understanding the importance of the words we say.
Joyce Meyer: Isn't it amazing that with words we can change somebody's day? Think about what power you have just in your mouth. You can lift somebody up. I mean, I've said things to people, just little things, and I've had them say, "You made my day"! Well, that's pretty amazing, when you think about it. But then we can also pretty much ruin somebody's day by saying the wrong things to them. I want God to use my mouth, I don't want the devil to use it. "Even so, the tongue is a little member and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze". Now, you know, we're pretty familiar with forest fires and millions of acres of forest can be destroyed and burned up along with all kinds of homes and very often it starts from one little spark. One little match that somebody throws in that forest or one little spark from a fire and it can burn up a whole entire forest. I don't think we realize sometimes the problems that we cause with our mouths. Let's think about this for a minute. The tongue is often used to dishonor God. And has been used to injure our fellow man. It is at the bottom of most strife in the church. How many of you know what strife is? It's bickering, arguing, heated disagreement, an angry undercurrent. How can we expect to have God's anointing in our churches if we're going to be part of gossiping about everything that's going on? I mean, if you really don't like where you're at and you're that unhappy then you probably ought to go somewhere else. And not just stay there and create problems. It's the bottom of most strife in the world, relationships end because of the tongue. Jobs are lost because of the tongue. Opportunities are lost because of the tongue. And yet, it's one of the tiniest organs in our body. It will be very wise for us to consider everything that James is saying tonight about the tongue.
Ginger Stache: You know, Joyce, James was one of those chapters that I have, I think, there are no letters left on the pages. I've just read it so many times. And the power of our words is just really learning that and adjusting over, and over, and over, because there's power in what you don't say.
Joyce Meyer: Right.
Ginger Stache: And in what you do say.
Joyce Meyer: How many people lose somebody...? I mean, like, somebody they love dies, and the first thing they think of is all the things they wished they would have said, that they never got around to saying. And, I mean, I was a Christian for many, many years, went to church all the time, and nobody ever told me that my words had any power. But when you start reading the Bible, I mean, it's just all over the place in Proverbs. "The power of life and death is in the tongue". And James says, you heard it. Just one little word, the wrong word at the wrong time can start a forest fire. And the way we speak about ourselves, one of the things I tell people all the time is do not talk bad about yourself out of your own mouth, and...
Ginger Stache: That's right. That's why we're calling this: say it like you mean it. Because we're talking about also saying what God's word says about who we are. And we have to learn to be able to say it like we mean it. "I am loved". "I am chosen". "I have a hope and a future". It's easy to say those things and not mean it. Well, Chelsea, one of the reasons we love having guests is because we are always pouring out all the things that we do in our lives.
Jai Williams: All.
Ginger Stache: sharing so much.
Jai Williams: Just sharing and sharing.
Ginger Stache: So, having you here is the opportunity for you.
Jai Williams: You to do it. Your turn.
Joyce Meyer: We want somebody else to confess.
Ginger Stache: Is this ever an issue in your life?
Chelsea Perry: Absolutely. I feel like, oh, there have been opportunities for me when I've dealt with fear versus faith. And I feel like one of the primary times that I got to switch my confession is when I've had fear present. And I mean, there are several times where confession, like the power of your words and changing the tone of your words has been an issue. But definitely fear is something that was one of the primary things. And I feel like fear and faith is one of those times. And I feel like that was one of the things that where it really works.
Ginger Stache: Yeah. What did you do then when that fear comes up, how did you change your words?
Chelsea Perry: You know, I think one of the most practical things is I put scriptures all throughout, everywhere. I didn't even realize how like stunned I was. I had a specific situation in my life where I realized that there was like a presence of fear in my life. And I think it's different than just having fear. There's like, there can be like a presence of fear.
Ginger Stache: Like, it just sticks with you.
Chelsea Perry: Yeah. And it just like, kind of is around and I didn't know how to handle it. And so, I just realized that I was actually kind of entertaining it with my words and telling everybody about it and talking about it. And I think that it was sort of, I don't know, okay, if we're going to talk about it, and we're gonna tell on ourselves, what was happening with me is I think that it was kind of tantalizing. It was kind of an entertaining part of my life.
Erin Cluley: Interesting.
Chelsea Perry: Exactly. It was interesting. And it was sort of, I don't know, it's kind of, it was kind of more fun to talk about than it was to make go away. And I wasn't sure how to make it go away until I sort of remembered everything I knew, I actually did know about it. And so, I started to get my scriptures out, and I did have teaching about it. And so, I started to get the Word of God on my situation. And I put it in my car, I put it, I put the word about faith in my life. And I started to speak it out in my car, in my house, in my kitchen, everywhere. And I started speaking faith instead of fear on my situation. And I'm telling you, I was able then to like, walk down the street, which sounds like not a big deal. But for me, I was paralyzed with fear, at the time, with my situation. And she knows about it. That's one of the situations I called mama Joyce on. I know not everybody has mama Joyce, but they might have a mama Joyce in their life, an aunt, or a sibling, or somebody that they can call on, and say, "I need some help here". And that's what I did. And it turned my situation around.
Erin Cluley: Did saying it out loud to Joyce, too, did that help too? Just like, speaking out what it was that scared you.
Chelsea Perry: Absolutely. And facing off with it, and realizing, I have like, a presence of fear that I was actually entertaining.
Joyce Meyer: Well, there are evil spirits that are in the atmosphere around us. And I know that people sometimes don't like to think about that, but there are. And we have to realize that they do try to torment us and bring situations into our life. If the enemy can find a weak area in our life, then he'll take advantage of that.
Erin Cluley: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: But you know, when you were talking about words, something that came to me, and I think this is gonna help a lot of people. How many times do we pray for something and then turn around and say the opposite of what we prayed?
Jai Williams: Cancel it out, all the time.
Joyce Meyer: We'll pray for God to, say, somebody who's got a child on drugs, and then go to lunch with a friend and talk about how we're afraid he'll never get free. And so, that's been a real big thing to me. If you're gonna pray, then your words need to agree with what you prayed. Otherwise, you're just canceling them out.
Erin Cluley: So, what does that look like, practically speaking? Because that makes sense to me. But, yet, we also don't wanna be fake Christians.
Joyce Meyer: No.
Erin Cluley: So, I don't wanna just say, "Everything's fine. God's got him," which I believe he does. But like, what does that look like? How do you do that where you're still being real and honest.
Ginger Stache: Because "Everything's fine," is not always.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, everything is not fine.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, I mean, I think if somebody says, "So, how's your son doing"? You say, "Well, he's still having some issues, but I'm praying about it, and I really believe that God is working and I'm going to see him set free". I don't think when we have problems that we have to have 30-minute conversations about it. Especially, if you really believe that, because I believe that from the time we pray that God starts working. Now, you know, when you're praying for somebody else, you don't know how long that's going to take because you're dealing with somebody else's will. It's not just a matter of your prayer, God works on them, but they have to give in and submit to God. So, what I do sometimes, is like, if I'm praying for something and it takes a long time and I start to feel like, "Well, this is not doing any good," I'll open my mouth and say, "God is working on this situation," or, "Thank you, Lord, that you're working on this situation".
Chelsea Perry: That's good.
Joyce Meyer: Reminding myself that even though I don't see anything yet, that God is working.
Chelsea Perry: That's really good.
Jai Williams: Something that I just thought about when you just said, you don't have to have a 30-minute conversation always about things. I know when I was first going through my divorce and all the things that were happening, I just didn't feel like anyone saw me, or heard me, at the time, and you just wanna keep talking about it, be like, it's almost like convincing people, like, "No, I was done wrong," like, "Help me. Somebody see me".
Chelsea Perry: "Acknowledge it".
Jai Williams: "Acknowledge it". And that's when I really realize like, even more so, like, I needed to go to some counseling, you know, to talk through it. And also, like what you did, you called Joyce to get some help. You know, it's good to say, like, "I'm gonna assign someone that's gonna give me good wisdom on how to get through this, so that every time I talk about it, I don't have to start from point a to point b," you know. And then...So, now, I'm at a place that even though I'm not complete, I'm really close. I'm so close to just being all the way healed from this thing. But sometimes, that man still get on my nerves. But I'm close, so, now, I can say things like, "How are you doing, Jai"? "Today, I'm doing all right". "Yesterday, I wasn't that great, but today, I'm doing all right". Or if I'm not doing great that day, it's like, "My heart is still kinda hurt by this, but I'm getting better every day". So, I don't feel the need to talk about point a to point b because I did the work of talking it out with friends, and counselors, and people that could actually give me some wisdom on how to not feel like I needed to speak about all parts of it. Because it was actually damaging to me to keep reliving it, all the way, detail by detail. I will still, this'll still be a part of my testimony no matter what. Like, you being able to say like, "Fear was a part of my life". That's not me speaking negatively, it's saying, "I'm overcoming this," or, "I have overcome it". So, it's still a testimony, but not living in that place of telling each part of it where it's almost like damaging to you and hurtful. Because it was a reminder, it was like showing me all over again, like, "This is what happened".
Ginger Stache: Yeah, that's true. You almost keep it alive, yourself, by rehashing it and telling people, and...
Joyce Meyer: Well, when you talk about being real, like you said, "How do you be real"? I had a situation just this morning. I've been having an issue with headaches. And so, this morning, like he does every morning, Dave said, "How are you this morning"? And I said, "I'm fine. My head's not so great, but I'm fine". And I think, a lot of times, when we tell people we're fine, really the spiritual part of you is fine because you're trusting God. But there's, it's almost, sometimes, like, you're two people. You know, the fleshly part of you can be really fighting with something, but spiritually you believe that God has it and that I really believe God's gonna take care of it. But that's a way for me of telling the truth. You know, I'm fine spiritually, but this is what's happening.
Erin Cluley: I love the visual of that, like taking that power away from that thing. That just seems to me just to separate things a little bit. Give you some perspective.
Chelsea Perry: Dismantles it. That's good.
Jai Williams: Yeah, and then when you said about the spirits and like, that are the heaviness, one of the things that I also did was, if I would, because like, I've always said this, Satan would like, greet me as soon as I wake up, like waiting for me. There are things assigned to us to, like, get us before we get out of the out of the bed. And so, that's why I put on the full armor before I even touch the floor, because it's like, I already know, this is a war, like. And so, like, sometimes, I kinda sound a little crazy, but I'll say, like, "Rejection, I know you in here. You gotta go, in the name of Jesus. You can't have my day". Like, I would sometimes, like, sometimes, I see, like, I will dream and see things that, like, the enemy was plotting against me for that day. And I'm like, "Okay, I saw that, but no weapon formed against me is gonna prosper". Like, "It's not going to happen today". And so, I would be like, "What do you have to do today"? Like, "You need to go," like, "You're not gonna"...
Chelsea Perry: Speak to it before it even happens.
Jai Williams: Yeah, I had to actually practically almost talk like, "I know you're in here, I can't see you, but I feel you, and you have to go, and you're not allowed in the rest of my day".
Chelsea Perry: Right, take your spiritual authority.
Jai Williams: Exactly, right.
Joyce Meyer: Well, just so people don't think we're lunatics.
Jai Williams: I might, but, thank you.
Joyce Meyer: You know, not everybody knows what we know. And so, Ephesians 6 says, "We war not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers and wickedness in high places". So, that's a scriptural backing that there are demonic powers that are trying to get at you and the mind is the battlefield. Ha ha, somebody wrote a book on that.
Jai Williams: I wonder who?
Ginger Stache: I've heard that.
Joyce Meyer: I wonder who wrote that book?
Jai Williams: I heard it was a great book.
Joyce Meyer: And he attacks you first, in your mind, because if he can get you to believe his lies, then he can deceive you. And if you're deceived, even though you believe a lie, it becomes your reality. It's truth to you, even though it's a lie. And so, you act as if it's true.
Ginger Stache: Well, while we're doing that, let's go ahead and lay out why this is so important. Because there are movements, I'll call 'em, you know, where people say, "Speak it into existence, the power's in you". That's not what we're saying. We're saying, there's power in words because there's power in the Word of God. And so, help explain that a little bit. Why are our words so vital?
Joyce Meyer: Okay, before I ever even heard a teaching on speaking God's word out loud, when I was newly filled with the Holy Spirit back in the seventies, and God, I felt, was calling me to do what I'm doing now. No proof of it. You know, I was teaching a few people in my living room floor once a week. And I felt like God really convicted me, that I was very negative, which he was absolutely right. And so, I started really trying to be positive. And after a few months, I said, "Well, God, I feel like I've been really positive and nothing's changed". And he said, "You stopped saying negative things, but you haven't started saying anything positive". And see, for me, because nobody had ever taught me this stuff, I know that I got it from God. And I felt like God told me to make a confession list of things that I wanted to see happen in my life, but to make sure I had a scripture to back up, every one of them. And I ended up with like 65 things. And it's in my book, I think. I don't know if it's in that book on "Change Your Words, Change Your Life". But it's in...
Ginger Stache: We have it online, too. If anyone wants to look for it. It's easy to find.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, we have it online. And when I confessed those things twice a day. And every single one of them, at the time, not one of them was true. They were God's word. They were a possibility, but they weren't a positively, at the time. And every single one of those is a reality in my life, now.
Erin Cluley: That's so cool.
Joyce Meyer: Every single one, not 64, but 65.
Ginger Stache: Because it was based on God's word. That's really important. It's not, you know, "I want this specific car and I'm gonna to speak that until it happens". It's because it was all based on what God's word says he has for us already.
Joyce Meyer: I said things like, "I love all people, and everybody loves me". Well, I didn't care for too many people, and not very many people cared for me, you know.
Joyce Meyer: "I'm confident". I mean, they were scriptural things. They weren't, "I have a new car," "I have a million dollars". It wasn't stuff like that. It was spiritual things. Like, I talked about the ministry, and, "I believe I get speaking engagements," you know, "All the time, by phone, by mail, and in person". I'd never had one, anywhere. And what, like, three or four days later, somebody called me and asked me to come and speak at their meeting.
Erin Cluley: Wow.
Joyce Meyer: And I was like, "Ahh!"!
Jai Williams: Scriptures work, scriptures work.
Joyce Meyer: And I still, I confess the Word of God, every day, in particular, I had a really hard time with righteousness through Christ because of the guilt I had from being sexually abused as a child, and I bet I have said a million times in my life, "I am the righteousness of God in Christ". And I quote 2 Corinthians 5:21, "He that knew no sin, became sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him". So, it's the Word of God that we want people to confess over their life, not a bunch of silly stuff. Not a bunch of carnal stuff, not the, you know, what do they call it? Name it and claim it. But it's the Word of God that has the power in it. My words have no power unless I'm speaking the Word of God.
Chelsea Perry: Absolutely. That's so good.
Joyce Meyer: Well, my words have power. But I mean, if I want...
Ginger Stache: Right, we can do a whole lot of damage with our words.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, we can do a lot of damage. But just think about that one thing that I said that you can change somebody's whole day, or you can ruin somebody's whole day with a word.
Ginger Stache: You know, Erin, and I had a meeting yesterday. And we didn't get to have it because we were busy doing other things. So, I stopped by her office later, and I said, you know, "Erin, do you need anything? Because we didn't get to have our meeting". And she said, "No, do you need anything"? And we were just talking, and I said, "Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that you look really great today, and that you're doing really good work, and that I really appreciate you". And she was like, "That's the best meeting we ever had".
Erin Cluley: Amazing.
Erin Cluley: And I walked with that for the next few hours. Like, what that did for me was, "You are qualified to be doing what you're doing," I needed to hear that in that moment from you. You didn't know that. And I haven't said this to you yet, till just now. But I needed to hear those words from you yesterday, and you didn't know that, but.
Ginger Stache: We don't realize. We don't realize...
Jai Williams: The smallest things.
Ginger Stache: Exactly. What people need and how we can provide that for them.
Joyce Meyer: Most people need their confidence boosted. I don't care how confident you, maybe, are, or act like you are.
Ginger Stache: Oh, we all need it.
Joyce Meyer: We all still need a little fuel added to that from time to time.
Erin Cluley: Absolutely.
Jai Williams: And typically, when I'm even getting like not-so-great service, even at like a restaurant or, you know, somewhere, and you just, I find something to compliment the person on, instead of like...
Ginger Stache: That's really nice.
Jai Williams: You know, it's just...
Ginger Stache: I need to be more that way cuz that's one of my mouth problems, you know.
Joyce Meyer: We all need this.
Jai Williams: No, I really do. Like, because I'm a firm believer in, like, leading teams, even, like, you get what you brag on, you know. Because we can always point out the negative things. But if I just notice that this person is really doing terrible with serving me at a restaurant or something, I'm like, "Where did you get your hair done"? Like, you know, or like, "Girl, let me see your nails". Like, "What is nail color"? But it just somehow, it just breaks the tension. And, you know, it's like, a sweet mist that just blows over. It happens, I'm telling you, every single time. Any time I wanna go off, I just say, like, "Let me find something," like, scanning the... Doo, doo, doo, doo, "Find something"!
Ginger Stache: "Keep looking".
Jai Williams: "Find, quickly, quickly, quickly"! "You have a wonderful smile".
Chelsea Perry: That's really good.
Jai Williams: Like, just find something nice, and it literally, always, pivots the service at the end. Like, seriously, so.
Joyce Meyer: And, you know, we don't know what people are going through.
Jai Williams: Yeah, everybody's goin' through something.
Joyce Meyer: I mean, that person that's being nasty with you, it probably has nothing to do with you.
Jai Williams: Exactly.
Joyce Meyer: They may be in the middle of a divorce or, you know, they're having to file bankruptcy. You know, you have no idea what they might be going through. And as Christians, it is our job to get out in the world, not just keep it locked up behind the church doors, but to get out in the world and be a light in a dark place.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, Chelsea, I wanna ask you this, and I hope you don't mind my asking, but I know that it would be such an encouragement to people. You have had a long time that you've been waiting to be engaged.
Chelsea Perry: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: And it doesn't mean that you needed that to be complete or anything like that. But it is one of those things when you're single, and you don't know what God is going to do, I'm sure there were times that you were wondering, and perhaps, even, speaking the wrong thing about what could happen in your future. Did you have any issues with that?
Chelsea Perry: Well...
Joyce Meyer: I did a lot of praying for this...
Chelsea Perry: You know what? She really did. And since we've gotten engaged, it's been really interesting how this story has meant a lot, to a lot of people. I am so glad I waited for him. And now, that God has brought us together, it's really interesting how important it was that I waited for this one.
Joyce Meyer: Right.
Chelsea Perry: Uhm, I'm trying not to cry. But maybe, I need to let the tears flow. Ladies: yeah.
Chelsea Perry: Yes, I've said the wrong thing, at times. And there was actually a season that I had to really, really watch what I said, because I started really feeling concerned, disillusioned. I was with the wrong guy several times.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah.
Chelsea Perry: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: Yep!
Ginger Stache: That's a very subtle, "Yes".
Chelsea Perry: It's the truth. And you know, that's the kinda show where on, right? We tell the truth. And so, I just had to keep saying, "God, I agree with you," and I'm just glad I'm with this one because we're supposed to, our assignments are the same, you know, our assignment is the same.
Joyce Meyer: If you don't mind, Chelsea, tell people your age.
Chelsea Perry: I'm proud of my age.
Joyce Meyer: Well, I think it's important for them to know.
Chelsea Perry: I'm 43.
Joyce Meyer: So, she waited a long time, and...
Chelsea Perry: And so, it is funny, "If you don't mind tell 'em your age," because what if, I'm like, "I'm 23".
Jai Williams: Which one? The one that's real? Or the one you tell people?
Chelsea Perry: That's only an aunt can ask you that.
Joyce Meyer: Well, you look a lot younger than that. And I don't want people that are, you know, like...
Chelsea Perry: That don't know. I don't care.
Joyce Meyer: That are like, 45, saying, "Well, what does she know"? You know, "She's 20".
Chelsea Perry: Oh, thank you!
Chelsea Perry: She knows I don't care. That's why she's saying that. But no, I mean, and all my siblings got married first, and I'm the oldest, and I watched, even, my baby brother get married. Like, the whole thing has been a very interesting journey. Like, it's been a process! But I also did that with joy, but it was just unexpected. I like, celebrated, but it just wasn't what I expected. And, you know, is life what you expect? Like, how often does life happen the way you expect?
Joyce Meyer: Well, you didn't go around depressed and discouraged...
Chelsea Perry: Not at all. I was having fun.
Joyce Meyer: And negative about it all the time, and...
Chelsea Perry: I enjoyed it.
Joyce Meyer: You really wanted...
Chelsea Perry: To get married.
Joyce Meyer: To get married, but you didn't let it control your life.
Chelsea Perry: That's a good way to put it. You're good at this.
Chelsea Perry: And you also know how I feel because we walked through it together. But I was still dating. And I just, it just wasn't right, yet. And so, I didn't know that at the time. But God was working on this, behind the scenes, and obviously, I didn't know that.
Joyce Meyer: Every time we thought we had somebody...
Joyce Meyer: I'm like, "Yes, God". Then, I would hear, well, I'd say, "Danny", my son, "How's Chelsea and so-and-so doing"? "Oh, they broke up".
Chelsea Perry: You were like, "No, we were so close".
Chelsea Perry: And then we finally put a ring on it.
Chelsea Perry: So, this is exciting. So, yes, the answer is yes. I've definitely said, I've definitely had to watch my mouth. And then, finally, I got my words aligned with the Lord on it and I feel like, there really is power, there, we know this. There are power in our words. And I think that the biggest thing is, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks". And, I mean, it's not the biggest thing out of all. But for me, that can be scary when you're trying to like, "Watch your words, watch your words". But what you put in your heart comes out. And so, you fill your heart with God's words, that makes it easier.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Jai Williams: Yeah, can we also talk about some words that people say, right?
Chelsea Perry: Oh, that's the truth. That's probably the hardest part.
Jai Williams: When you are of a certain age, you know, "Well, when are you getting married"? "I don't know". Like, you know, asking those questions, a lot of times, we have to watch what we say. Even though, a lot of people, I think, are coming from a good place, when people ask things like...
Ginger Stache: Careless.
Jai Williams: You know, like, once you get married, "When are you having kids"? "When are you doing this"?" when", and it's like, you don't know if people are having struggles with having children. You don't know, you know, you don't know what the struggle is. So, I think that's something that, to point out to, like, if you see someone that might not be doing, you want the better, the best for them. And you might want to ask them these questions, just be mindful of those words because it could be damaging, and it could cause you to think, because people do that to me, now. So, "What's going on with... Are you dating? Who are you dating? Is it this..."? I don't, I don't know, this is new to me. Like, you know, so it's like, I'm not rushing into anything. But it's a lot of pressure when people come and ask those questions.
Joyce Meyer: Here's what you tell 'em. "I'm enjoying God and I'm enjoying my life".
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Jai Williams: I'ma say it just like that. So, all of you watching that ask me, I'm enjoying God and I'm enjoying my life.
Ginger Stache: That's good.
Joyce Meyer: But see, one of the things that I think is important to know about Chelsea is even though you were believing for a husband, I think you also had your mind made up that if you never got married, God was still gonna be first in your life.
Chelsea Perry: That's the truth.
Joyce Meyer: And I mean, I know that about her. And so, I don't like it when I hear people say, "Well, I just cannot be happy if I don't get married," or, "I cannot be happy if I don't have children". If the case, then God's not number one in your life. Because he is your joy. You delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart. The bad thing is, he doesn't say when.
Erin Cluley: No, that's hard too. I was curious how you did that. 'cause when we waited, you mentioned having children. And we waited way longer than we wanted to. And that was hard. And so, I remember, it, I kept trying to like, think the thoughts that God has and that he's, "If he doesn't bring me the babies that I want, his plan is bigger". So, what you said about switching, what you're saying to, "I agree with you, God," that sounds easy, but that is hard. So, how did you make that flip from, "God, I thank you for this marriage that's coming"? Or, "This baby," or, "God, I agree with you," how did you flip that?
Chelsea Perry: I mean, it changed my life to start learning that, I mean, God really got on the throne of my life through this process. And I know that, that sounds, like, I've been serving him my whole life, like, that sounds obvious. But I had to die to a lot of my perspective of what my ideals and the things that I thought were gonna happen as I set out on this quest.
Joyce Meyer: And Erin, and I think we have to tell God, and mean it, in our heart. You know, "This is what I want, but if it never happens, I want your will more than I want mine".
Erin Cluley: I love that, because that, to me, shows the intimacy you have with him. Because I'm not hiding it from him when I tell him I want it. He already knows. But i...
Jai Williams: And he wants us to tell him.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, he does. But I think that's so beautiful. I think it's probably the perspective switch for ourselves, too. It's not so much what I'm saying to him, it's me saying it out loud, so I believe it.
Ginger Stache: One of those switches that kinda helps to flip that for me, is knowing that God's plan for me is so much better. As wonderful as I think my plan is, God knows so much more. And it hurts when you're not getting what you think you should have, or what really is your desire. And yet, going back, 'cause my words are so similar to yours, all the time, it's just, "I trust you, God. I trust you. I don't get it. I don't see it. I'm hurting," whatever it may be, "But I will still trust you". And you almost have to have some sort of mantra, talking about the words that we say, that helps flip our thoughts, and we're speaking it out loud, to making that decision that what God has is best.
Joyce Meyer: I got so much just, and I mean, it's been there the whole time, and I've read it, I don't know how many hundreds of times, but in Matthew, when it talks about Jesus' agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, and three different times, he said, "If possible, take this cup from me". It just really hit me. Didn't wanna go to the cross.
Jai Williams: Yeah, he didn't want to.
Joyce Meyer: He didn't want to. But he always followed it up with, "Nevertheless, your will be done and not mine". So, he didn't wanna go to the cross, but he wanted what God wanted more than he wanted what he wanted. So, we can want something and want it really bad. But you have to want what God wants more than you want what you want.
Jai Williams: One of the things that...
Chelsea Perry: That's good.
Jai Williams: When I first found out about, like, about the divorce piece, and I was just like, "God, you showed me what... You said the plan a was," right? And I was really upset with God when it didn't come, that my 20-year marriage didn't keep going. Like, I was married for 20 years, you know? And I'm like, "How did you allow this"? And I was upset with God. I was really, really upset with them. Because I was like, "You have the power to do this," kind of like what Jesus is like, "Hey, is there another way"? You know? "You had the power". But what helped me reconcile with God, and it was important and powerful for me, was when God showed me that he was weeping with me.
Joyce Meyer: Right, that's good.
Jai Williams: He showed me that. He said, "I am", like, it still, he's like, "I'm suffering with you". And so, he's like, "Now, I have to, this is, these are the aftermath of someone else's free will". Like, "That was my plan, but now, I have to keep to my promise and take what enemy meant for evil and turn it around for your good". He said, "So, I'm crying with you. I'm cry", and that was so powerful to me. So, then, I was able to pivot and say, "You're going to make, you're gonna take what the enemy meant for evil, and you will turn it for good. You're going to turn it for good". Even when I still feel hurt, I still get that vision of him crying with me, suffering with me. And I can say now, with my words, like, "I know we didn't plan on this," you know, "We didn't want this to happen. But because it's happened, your will be done. But now, I'm trusting you that you're gonna take what the enemy meant for evil, and you're gonna, you promised to give me double for my trouble. You promised to give me better," so.
Ginger Stache: Yeah, you're not walking through it alone. He's got that sorrow, right there with you.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah, that's really good. That's very good. I'll have to preach that.
Jai Williams: You're welcome.
Ginger Stache: Joyce, you have an old book called, "Me and my big mouth".
Joyce Meyer: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: Do you even know when you wrote that book? I don't know when it was, but.
Joyce Meyer: I think it was like the second or third book that I wrote. I wrote, "Beauty for ashes," and then I wrote, "Battlefield of the mind". And I think, "Me and my big mouth," was right...
Ginger Stache: It was a long time ago.
Joyce Meyer: It's out of print now, with my publisher, but I wish it was, it's just such a good book.
Ginger Stache: And so much of the content from that book is in, "Change Your Words, Change Your Life," which is your most recent book on this. But I'm just one of those people that have always had problems with my mouth, okay? I'll just say it. You know, I'm a strong-willed person. I have strong opinions. And sometimes you just need to just...Mm, shut your mouth and not say all the things that I want to say.
Joyce Meyer: Now, if you don't really want Ginger's opinion, don't ask for it.
Jai Williams: She's got it.
Erin Cluley: That's true.
Joyce Meyer: 'cause she will. And she'll tell you exactly what she thinks.
Ginger Stache: It's true. And I've learned so much, though. But I remember, and I don't know, I was in my twenties, or my thirties, and "Me and my big mouth," came out, and a friend and I read it. And I remember us sitting down talking about this book, thinking, "This woman's crazy," you know?
Joyce Meyer: Now, you're working for the crazy lady!
Ginger Stache: Exactly!
Ginger Stache: Exactly. Like, "Does it really make a difference"? Like, "Satan can hear my words, but he can't hear my thoughts". I mean, this was groundbreaking stuff for us, at the time. And when you begin to think, "Okay, what do I have to lose"? Right? "It's not gonna hurt anything". So, I walked through a process. And I started by not saying the things that I shouldn't be saying, you know? And I wasn't, I was a happy person. I wasn't a negative person. But, you know, sarcasm, things that are still an important part of my life, like, my love language is sarcasm, sometimes.
Joyce Meyer: Your love language is sarcasm.
Jai Williams: It's so fun.
Ginger Stache: But starting there, you know? "Okay, I'm not gonna say these things". And then, like you said, taking it to the next level. And then, the next thing was, "Are the things that I'm saying absolutely true? Are they full of integrity"? Because I wasn't a liar or anything like that, I wouldn't say. But, you know, I had to really be careful, start thinking about, "Wait a minute, is that the whole truth"? And, "Is that absolutely the way that it was"? And it just taught me something to begin thinking that. And then, the next step was, "Am I speaking encouragement? Am I speaking God's word? Am I speaking the positive things over people's lives"? And that was so many years ago. And it continues to grow all the time. And I'll tell you, it's one of the biggest things that God has done in my life was to teach me those things. And I've seen it with, as a leader, with the people that I work with. I've seen it as a mom, as a wife, and just over myself, it's just, it's huge. It is one of the biggest things that God has changed in me.
Joyce Meyer: And I know that anybody can change because, honestly, I was so negative. I mean, I always, teasingly, say, "If I thought two positive thoughts in a row, my brain got in a cramp".
Joyce Meyer: But I was very negative because not only was I sexually abused, but my father was very negative. He taught me not to trust anybody. "You can't trust anybody..". And I'm really a very positive person, now. And matter of fact, I can't stand negativity or just, like, hanging out very long with somebody that's negative. It's like, "Get out of my space," you know, "I don't need that". And if people watching today, you know, cuz I know we only got a certain amount of time. Just a couple of things I want you to remember. One, don't say negative things about yourself out of your own mouth. Ladies: yeah, that's good.
Joyce Meyer: You know, just don't say negative things about yourself out of your own.
Ginger Stache: Those little flippant remarks like, you know, "I'm so stupid". "I'm", you know, "I'll never amount"...
Joyce Meyer: "I can't ever get anything right," I used to say that. Every time Dave would get mad at me, I'd say, "Yeah, I can't do anything right..". And, "Everything's my fault. It's always my fault," you know. And just make an effort not to be negative. Just, there's nothing negative about God.
Chelsea Perry: It's true.
Joyce Meyer: You know, can you imagine Jesus sitting around, "I gotta go to the cross, I'm so tired of this pain,"? I mean, so, just, you know, sometimes people just need something to hang onto when a program's over. So, if you don't remember anything else, remember, don't say anything negative about yourself, out of your own mouth. And if you slip up and do, repent, and ask God to forgive you.
Ginger Stache: What would you guys say? What are some things that you would encourage people in this area?
Joyce Meyer: One thing to leave people with, what would you say, Chelsea?
Chelsea Perry: I would say, you're living now, what you speak over your life. And so, whatever you want your life to be, speak that over yourself.
Erin Cluley: I would just say, to myself, like, pause, like, just stop for a second. That's when I get myself in the most trouble is speaking too quickly. So, like, take a second...
Joyce Meyer: You mean like, think before you speak.
Erin Cluley: Think before you speak. That's exactly what I meant to say, think before you speak.
Jai Williams: Mine is like, when, it's similar to that. When you feel that negative thing or that negative thought before saying something out loud, stop, like, pause a little bit, and then intentionally think about what you can say that can counter that. Like, I wrote a list of things, like, I've said this over like, over and over again. I wrote out some of the negative stuff that I felt. But then on the other side, I wrote things that countered it in scriptures that matched it. So, then, it trained my brain, every time I think that, I'm going to say this.
Joyce Meyer: That would be good, if we had a pause button right here, wouldn't it?
Ginger Stache: Oh, wouldn't that be perfect?
Joyce Meyer: Pause. Mute. Pause. Go. Stop.
Ginger Stache: That would be really handy.
Erin Cluley: Or unsend.
Jai Williams: Unsend, now they have edit.
Erin Cluley: Yeah, I need that.
Ginger Stache: "Ginger would like to recall that message".
Joyce Meyer: We can make me a prop. I could do a good message on that.
Ginger Stache: I think that's a very good idea.
Joyce Meyer: What about you, Ginger?
Ginger Stache: I would say to find the scriptures that you're gonna hold onto so tightly, continue to say them, even if you don't see the evidence yet. Because you will. Because God's faithful to his word.
Chelsea Perry: That's true.
Ginger Stache: And just continue to say those things over yourself. But don't stop there. You know, I've really prayed that God would give me those promises for my kids, and for my husband, and just hold on to those things. Be so tenacious and speak God's word.
Joyce Meyer: Yeah.
Ginger Stache: Well, I'm so grateful that all of you have shared this with us, it's been so great. Thank you very much.
Joyce Meyer: I think this will be helpful to people because I do believe that there's a lot more people that don't know this, than those that do.
Ginger Stache: Yeah.
Joyce Meyer: And even those that do need to be reminded.
Ginger Stache: It's true. And if you don't know how to start, let me just give you this. Just begin saying, "I am loved". Because God's word says that about you all through it. He loves you so much. Just begin saying that one, today. "I am loved," because that will take away some of those other things that you're, maybe, saying about yourself. Maybe, you're saying, you know, that you're not seen, or that you're not valuable, or that nobody loves you. Mm...Just stop those things right now, and say, "I am loved". We love you. We're so glad that you're part of our talk it out group, and we hope that you'll subscribe to the podcast. You can go to joycemeyer.org/talkitout to catch up on all of the different podcasts that we've had. So, many great topics, great guests like, Chelsea, get more from Joyce, and you can also get our resource today, right there. We are offering you Joyce's book, which is so good, "Change Your Words, Change Your Life", for your gift of any amount. So, go over there and check it out. And let us know what happens. Begin this as an experiment, if nothing else. Maybe, you're thinking, "This lady's crazy," just like I did. Well, now, I know better. She knows lots and lots of stuff.
Ginger Stache: So, let us know how it goes for you, and we will see you next time. Bye-bye.
Joyce Meyer: Bye.
Ginger Stache: joycemeyer.org/talkitout is a wonderful place. Go there for today's resource, to check out all of the episodes, and to get to know us a little better. Please, don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen or watch Joyce Meyer's Talk It Out podcast, and let us know what you're thinking. Your voice is important to us.