Craig Groeschel - Why Doesn't God Give Me What I Want?
I wanna start today by giving you a little pop quiz. Little pop quiz. The good news is that this does not count on your final grade, so this is just for fun. We're gonna play true or false. And just to make sure at all of our churches you're working with me, can everybody shout, "True"? True. Can everybody shout, "False"? False. Just wanted to make sure you know how to say it. So I'm gonna say some things, and then when I pause, you just shout out... True. Or... False. Very good. So you ready? Let's start easy.
Hey, God loves you. True. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. True. And because God loves you, you are worthy of happiness. True. Your life is meant to be enjoyed. True. You deserve a life that you enjoy. False. Therefore, it doesn't matter what you do as long as you're happy. False. And this is why you shouldn't settle for anything less than whatever makes you happy. False. True or false. It started off easy. Then it gets a little bit confusing as we go on. And the reason it gets confusing is because everything that I said kinda sounds true and some of it is true and a lot of it's almost true, but not all of it is true. It's not completely true.
And the part that's not true is causing more people to walk away from God than almost any other lie in culture today. And this is my term. I'm gonna call it the happiness gospel. What is the happiness gospel? Essentially, this is the popular cultural belief, and that is, "Above all else, God wants me happy. After all, I deserve happiness". Sounds good, feels true, it's almost true, but it is not completely true. And the challenge is that whenever we believe that our happiness is God's highest purpose for us, it actually changes our relationship with God. Instead of us living what's true, and what is true? The truth is that we exist to worship, to serve and to glorify God.
But if we believe that our happiness is God's highest priority, instead of us serving God, we start to believe that God exists to serve us. And essentially it reduces God to what I'd call a cosmic Coke machine. That looks like a cosmic Coke machine, right? And we kinda believe this, "If we come to God and we do the church thing and we pray the prayer and maybe we give some money and we're kinda nice and we're Christians and we push the button, then God's gotta give us whatever we want". But if we don't get what we want, all of a sudden, God let us down. "We deserve to be happy. It's God's highest priority for us to be happy".
Sounds true, but it's not completely true. And the challenge is, if you believe this dangerous and prolific cultural lie, there is a very good chance that one day you'll walk away from God. And this is what some of your friends have done, maybe some of your kids have done, maybe some of your friends have done. And it kinda goes like this, they'll think one time, "Well, I tried the God thing. I went to church, I gave an offering, I prayed some prayers, I've sang some songs, but I'm still broke," or, "I'm still single," or, "I'm still in a sucky marriage," or, "I'm still in a dead-end job that I don't like. I did the God thing and I'm still not happy".
And then what happens is you tend to conclude, "If God wants me happy and I'm not, then either God doesn't care, or God isn't good, or God isn't real. And if either one of those, any of those are true, then I'm just going to walk away from God". And that's what we see tragically so many people doing today. So what I wanna do is, from a perspective of God's Word, I wanna remind you that our King is on the throne. That our God is real, that He is good, and our God does care about you. And God delights in your happiness. He is a loving father that loves to give good gifts to his children. He delights in your happiness, like I do in my kids'.
I'm a dad with six grown kids and seven grandkids. And I love when my children are happy. And I love when my grandchildren are happy. I've never one time been like, "Oh, they're miserable. Oh yeah, that makes me so happy". I delight in their happiness. But their happiness is not my highest priority. Parents, for example, let's say my kids are growing up, and they come in, all six of them, "Dad, donuts make us happy. So every day for breakfast, we want donuts. Every single day, donuts make us happy". I love my kids, I'll give 'em donuts every now and then, but not every single day.
Now, my grandkids come over. And they say, "Pops, donuts make us happy". Chocolate, strawberry glaze, whatever you want. Jack 'em up on sugar, send 'em home, "Kids, you deal with that. Payday is coming," right? 'Cause they're my grandkids, and I really want 'em to be happy. But if they come in and say, "Pops, we want donuts and beer. Donuts and beer make us happy". "Hey, you can have the donuts, but you can't have beer when you're seven years old," right? I want 'em to be happy, but their happiness is not my highest priority. And in a similar way, God delights in your happiness. He is a loving father who gives good gifts to his children. But your happiness isn't God's highest priority for your life.
So you might say, "Okay, Craig, I'm kinda tracking with you. I mean, I thought happiness was the end goal. Isn't that why God's there, to make me happy and all that stuff? But okay, I kinda get it. But what role does God play in our happiness"? And I wanna say this very, very clearly. God wants you to experience happiness, but not at the expense of holiness. Let me say it again. He loves you, He is a good father who gives good gifts, and He delights in your happiness, but not at the expense of holiness.
In fact, God's Word says in 1 Peter Chapter 1, "Don't slip back into your old ways of living," to do what? We could say, "To do what makes you happy," "To satisfy your own desires". Peter said, "You didn't know any better back before you were a follower of Christ. You didn't know any better back then". But now he says, notice what he doesn't say. He doesn't say, "You must be happy in everything that you do". He says, "But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the scriptures say," say it with me, all of our churches, "You must be". "Holy". "Because I am". "Holy".
You must be holy. You didn't know any better back then. Don't slip back into doing whatever your desires call you to do. There's actually a higher calling as a follower of Jesus. Not just whatever your flesh wants, but instead what pleases God. He didn't say, "Be happy in all you do," but, "Be holy in all that you do".
Now, what does it mean to be holy? The word in Greek that's translated as holy is the word hagios. And it means to be set apart. It means to be different. It means to be wholly dedicated to God's purpose. So if we are disciples of Jesus, we will not look like the world. We won't be friends with the world. We live in the world, but we're different from the world. We're set apart, we're not better, we're just set apart, we're different. We are wholly dedicated to God's purpose. And the challenge with the happiness gospel, and this is popular in spiritual circles, is it teaches us to believe a couple of things.
Whenever we believe the happiness gospel, number one, we believe whatever makes me happy must be right. "If it feels good, if I like it, it must be the way that I am, it must be right". And the second problem is, "Whatever makes me unhappy must be wrong". And you have to ask yourself, "Well, what is it that makes us happy"? Well, comfort makes me happy and convenience makes me happy and pleasure makes me happy. And what makes us unhappy? Well, discomfort and inconvenience and pain. So if our goal is happiness instead of holiness, then we're gonna pursue pleasure and avoid pain at all costs. The problem is, what brings us pleasure isn't always good for us. And what's difficult isn't always bad for us.
In fact, God often uses the hard things to do a work in us. That's why James said, "Consider it pure joy, my brother and sister, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith, it develops perseverance. God uses that which is difficult to conform us to the image of His Son, Jesus". And the problem starts to get worse. If I haven't pushed you yet or offended you yet, hang on. 'Cause we're all gonna get stepped on, okay? The problem gets worse whenever we prioritize our happiness over living for God in holiness. Because whenever we say, "Happiness matters most, happiness matters most," the moment we believe that, almost every single time, somewhere along the way, we will start to rationalize sin, we'll start to justify sin.
You may say, "Well, okay, what does it mean to rationalize sin"? I would define it this way. We rationalize sin when our mind makes an excuse for what our spirit knows is wrong. "Hey, I know I shouldn't do this, and I know God's Word says it, but if I do it, it makes me happy and I feel this way and I wanna do it, and so it must be okay". And we do this in all sorts of areas of our lives. It might be in your dating life, like you might read the Bible, "It says that sex is for the coveted of marriage between a man and a woman. But I'm in love. I'm so in love. All the love songs on the radio make sense. And marriage is just a piece of paper anyway. And God created sex and he gave me these desires. So I know what God's Word says, but sex makes me happy. God will understand".
Or in marriage, and again, I don't want anybody to feel shame because of what I'm gonna say, but it needs to be said in our culture today. There are biblical reasons for divorce. Let that be clear. That's for a whole 'nother message. But there are biblical reasons. But what happens today so often is, one person will say, "Well, I'm just not happy. I'm not happy, I'm not happy in my marriage. And so because I'm not happy, I'm just leaving my marriage". Well, if you got married, you said, "For better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all those, I'll be faithful this point until as long as we both shall live".
If you made a holy covenant with God and you go through some hard times, going through some hard times may not necessarily be a biblical reason to get a divorce. Don't wanna make anybody feel unnecessarily guilty, but it needs to be said. Sex, "My spouse maybe isn't meeting my needs," or, "I'm single and I'm not getting no mingle. Not getting any action". So we justify what we look at because we're not hurting anybody, and it's not that big a deal, it's somebody's business anyway.
Or gossip, you get something juicy. We know we're not supposed to gossip. Gossip is a sin. But we're Christians, so we don't share gossip, we share prayer requests. "Let me tell you about her so you can pray for her. Oh Jesus, she needs prayer. Oh Jesus, Jesus". "Holy Spirit, work on him. Wait 'til you hear what he's doing. Holy Spirit, work on him, "right? Right? Go ahead and laugh 'cause you've never done that, neither have I.
Or if I haven't gotten you yet, Hulu, Netflix, HBO, whatever, graphic sex, constantly taking God's name in vain, crude, disgusting humor. It's funny, admittedly, it's funny, but funny doesn't make wrong right. And we'll watch stuff that will be dishonoring to God all in the name of entertainment, "Well, I know I probably shouldn't put that in my mind, but I enjoy it, so you know. I love Jesus and all, but I wanna do whatever makes me happy". It's rationalizing sin. It's when our mind makes an excuse for what our spirit knows is wrong. And if right now I'm kinda hitting a nerve and you're going, "You're ticking me off, Craig," it could be because the Holy Spirit wants to say something to you about something that you've been rationalizing.
And to quote one of my favorite preachers and authors of all time, Tim Keller said this, he said, "The sin that is most destructive in your life right now is the one you're most defensive about". If I'm touching on something or the Holy Spirit's showing you something and you're going, "No, not me, and you don't understand, and you're really ticking me off right now," that may be the point at which God wants to do the deepest work. Because God is a very, very loving God. He's a loving father who delights in giving you good gifts. He delights in your happiness, but not at the expense of holiness.
And here's where the sermon, if it's kinda hard, it starts to get special about right now. Because at some point, the more you get to know God, the more that you realize how good He is, how faithful He is, how loving He is, how in His sovereignty, He's working in all things, and His standards are not meant to harm us, but to protect us. And the more you get to know God, the more you realize that holiness and happiness are not opposing values. I used to think they were. Before I was a Christian, I thought, "If I serve God fully, He's gonna keep me from all the fun".
Anybody ever think that, raise your hand. Online, you type that, I thought that, "If I give my life to God, then He's gonna send me to some other country as a missionary, or he's gonna tell me not to do the thing," my pastor used to say, "God's gonna tell you, 'Don't drink, don't smoke, don't chew, and don't run with girls who do.'" He's gonna take away all your fun. And I didn't realize that happiness and holiness, they're not competing values.
And then you look at everything that culture tells us today, every commercial, every advertisement, everything that comes across your social media feed is gonna send the message that happiness is found outside of God, "To really be happy, you need to get something else, that someone, that attention, that thing, that money, the bling, the vacation, the notoriety, the popularity, the power, whatever it is, you gotta get what you want. And if you get what you want, then you'll be happy. But you don't have what you want, that's why you're not happy".
The problem is, if happiness is found in a what, at some point, you got an old what that you wanted, didn't you? You wanted that what and you got that what. And maybe you were happy for a moment, but the happiness faded. You got the new shoes and you were happy, 'til your best friend got the newer ones, and then you were sad. It happens to all of us. For me, I learned the lesson in the fifth grade.
There was a girl named Tiffany. And Tiffany thought, mopeds were cool. And somehow, I don't even know how, I could ask my mom, I don't know how we afforded a moped, but we got a moped. It was sort of a moped. It was a bicycle with a motor and pedals. And it was close enough to a moped. And Tiffany says, "You are now cool, you got a moped," I'm happy. Then Brian Marquardt got a motorcycle. And she dumped me. She dumped me, 'cause she said, "All you have is a moped. He has a motorcycle". Then, most of you won't get this, if you're my age, you'll get it, she said, "The problem is, you're Richie Cunningham and I want the Fonz".
Aw. I'm still working through that one. I'm still working through that one. I got the what, but the what didn't satisfy. And you did too, at some point, right? You got the phone, the watch, the outfit, the purse, the car, the TV, the promotion, whatever it was. And you were happy for a moment, but the happiness didn't last. Why? Because a what always leads to a what else, a what else. The things of this world do not ever satisfy. And then when you start to see, "Okay, wait a minute, God is a good God, He's a loving God, He's a father who loves to give good gifts to his children and His standards and His truth and His teaching, they're not constrictive or restrictive, they're actually freeing and leads me to His goodness and His blessings," that happiness and holiness are not competing values, they actually compliment each other.
And then one day you recognize that true holiness leads to lasting happiness. It's not a temporary thing. It goes deeper than that. It's a joy. And true joy, true meaning is not found in a what, but is found in God alone. And there's a very powerful example of this in scripture in the Old Testament. King David, he had it all. He had every what that people today would want. He had women, he had popularity, he had power, he had wealth. He would've been verified on Instagram. The real kind, not the one you pay for, right?
And so the Bible tells it this way. The Bible says that in springtime, when kings go off to war, he stayed back at the palace and then he saw this beautiful woman bathing. If we'd modernized it, we would say it this way, he said, "Hey, in springtime, he read an Instagram post that said you can't pour out an empty cup, so I need to stay back and fill myself up". And then he watched a YouTube video that said, "Your happiness is your top priority. You owe it to yourself to be happy. The purpose of your life is your happiness, so do whatever makes you happy". And he thought, "I like sex". He thought, "Sex makes me happy".
And so he rationalized the sin. When he saw a beautiful woman, he called her over. He used his power to abuse her. He took advantage of her, and then he covered his track, had her husband murdered. And then one day, he woke up and goes, "What have I done? How did I get here"? He was far from God. And he remembered that God had called him to be holy, God had called him to set apart. And in his pursuit of what he thought he wanted, he rationalized sin in his own life. And what did he do? He did the very same thing that some of you will do today. You're gonna stop and say, "I have done that. I have compromised, I've justified sin. I'm doing this, explaining away. I'm doing something I know is wrong in my head and justifying it in my heart".
And then what he did is he repented. Re means to turn, pent is that which is highest, he turned from the lower things of sin to the higher things of God. And he cried out this beautiful prayer of repentance in Psalm 51, he said this, he said, "Have mercy, O God," not according to Your impossible standards, but, "according to Your unfailing love, according to Your great compassion, blot out my transgressions. Wash shall away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin". He cries out, "God, create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy," not of the things of this world, not of material possession, not of power and wealth, "restore to me, God, the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me".
Why did David cry out to God? He remembered very, very clearly that lasting happiness is found in a who, not in a what, is found in a who, is found in the presence of a very, very good God. Who is the who? David cried out to the who over and over and over again. In Psalm 16, he said, "I say to the Lord, 'You are my Lord, apart from You, I have no good thing.'" You're everything I want, You're everything that I need. He said, "Lord, You alone are my portion and my cup. God, you make my lot secure. You make known to me the path of life. God, You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand".
David sought that with God. "You alone, God, You are my portion, God, You are my joy, You are what I need. You are what I seek. You are what I desire. You are living water. You restore the joy of my salvation". Why? Because lasting happiness and true joy is found in a who, not in a what. And so what I wanna do is, to our church family, I wanna plead with you. Do not fall victim to the happiness gospel. It's everywhere right now, it's everywhere. "Live your best life. Do what makes you happy. Live your truth. Chase your dreams. Follow your heart. Your happiness is all that matters".
Most of us, we've done that. We've pursued what we wanted. We've justified our sin. We've stepped away from the standards of God in the name of pursuing our own happiness. And how's it going for people today in culture? People are pursuing happiness and there are more mental health problems than any time I've ever known in history. More depression, more anxiety, more loneliness, more self-harm, more hopelessness. Why? Because you can't self-help your way to happiness. Lasting happiness is not found in a what, but in a who. You alone, God, are my source. You alone are what I need. You cannot self-help your way to happiness.
So, everybody breathe in. One, two, three. Breathe out. We all okay? Some of you look really upset. Just hang with me. Let's bring the application. When we get together in our LifeGroups, because we are people in community, if you're not in a LifeGroup. We need each other. We need the body of Christ. We need to spur one another on, to encourage one another daily, to sharpen each other like iron sharpens iron. Whenever two or three gather together in His name, He is there in the midst of them. When you get together with your LifeGroup, we're gonna talk about this question. Over your next meal with your family and your loved ones, talk about this question. Ask yourself this, where are you pursuing happiness over holiness?
In your own life, think about it. Be open, ask God to reveal something that you may be blind to. If you find yourself really sensitive to something that I'm saying today, like, "Oh yeah, he said," if you find yourself there where you push back the hardest may be where God wants to do the most. Ask yourself, where are you pursuing happiness over holiness? And then the followup question is, what is God calling you to do about it? What is He calling you to do about it? And then listen, and let Him speak to you and let Him move in a very special way.
So let me say, "Okay, Craig, are you happy"? And the answer is yes and no, all the time. All the time, I am full of a joy, like a real heavenly joy, and have moments of ridiculous happiness. And life is always hard, always at the same time. There's never a moment where I don't have some sense of joy and purpose. And there is never a moment where there's not something bringing along great pain. Every moment, I've got unbelievable joy that I'm married to Amy and the blessings that we have together in ministry and trust, 33 years of marriage, and I've got daughters with severe ongoing health issues, all at the same time.
And I am blessed beyond measure to be able to serve as the pastor to you, as a shepherd guiding the sheep. And James, my son-in-law, just lost his dad way too early. And I'm overwhelmed that last weekend there were hundreds of you that turned away from the brokenness of this world and called on the healing power of Jesus. And I've got a very, very dear friend who's a prisoner in his own body, weighs 110 pounds, doesn't know who he is or where he is, and it's just a heartbreaking thing. And the spirit of God is gonna bring some of you to faith today, and we just buried a 35-year-old mom with a seven-year-old son who lost a battle to cancer. And her whole family filled these two rows with shirts on that said, "God is good, all the time".
And all the time God is good because the joy that I have isn't just based on circumstances, but it's something that only comes from heaven. If we live for happiness first and then we're not happy, we don't like where we are, then we conclude God's not good, He doesn't care or He's not real. But I'll remind you, our King is on the throne. Our God is real. Our God does care and our God is good. But our happiness isn't His highest priority. He tells us to be holy in all that we do. And anytime there is something that doesn't make us happy, and there will be almost every single day, that thing that hurts, that thing that brings pain draws you closer to Him and teaches you to depend on Him.
And you get to know Him in a way that you wouldn't otherwise. And you recognizem God will use, if you're not happy right now, whatever you're going through, to teach you to depend on Him. And then as we pursue Him, as we delight in Him, as we seek Him, as we call on Him, as we get to know Him, as we trust in Him, as we lose our life in Him, we discover God is not our ticket to happiness, He is our happiness. He is our joy, He is our purpose, He is our life because He is real. He does care and He is always good.
So, Father, we call on you today, reveal to us, God, any area of our life we're putting our happiness over Your holiness, and do a work in us, do a work in our church today.
As you're praying at all of our different churches and those of you online, I wonder how many of you would say, "Yeah, I wanna be open to what God would show me, any area I'm putting my happiness over holiness. And I really want not just the happiness of this world, but I want lasting joy found in God alone". If that's you today, you want lasting joy found in God alone, would you lift your hands. Lift 'em and leave 'em up, if you will. Online, just type in the comments section, "I want lasting joy in God alone, I want lasting joy". As your hands are lifted up in a moment of worship:
We just declare, God, we love You, we praise You, we need You, we thank You. And God, I ask that your Holy Spirit would do what I don't have the power to do. Draw us to Your presence, God. Give us a love for You that's greater than anything of this world, God. Any area of our lives where we're compromising and rationalizing and justifying sin, God reveal that to us. And like David, we just turn away, we repent and turn back to you and cry out, "God, have mercy on us, blot out our transgressions, create a clean heart in us. O God, renew the joy of our salvation".
For those of you that are followers of Christ and you've lost that joy, find the joy and salvation and the purposes and the goodness of God. Bless, God, Your children, with more than the happiness of this world, but bless them with joy, and You and You alone. As you put your hands down today, nobody looking around, still in an attitude of prayer. Some of you right now, you've tried your best to find it in this world. You're not walking with God, you're not intimate with God. And you realize, "I have tried to find happiness. I tried to find it in the job and money and people and party life, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah".
And what do we have? A bunch of anxious, depressed, miserable people. Why? Because we cannot find those things in the world. What's our foundational problem? Our foundational problem is that we are all sinful. By nature, we're sinful. And our sin separates us from a holy God. But God, He is so good and he is so loving, God so loved the world that he sent his only Son, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus came. He was without sin. He came for those who are broken. He came for the sinners. And He died on a cross so our sins could be forgiven, so that anyone who calls on the name of the Lord would be saved, your sins would be forgiven.
There are those of you today, you've looked for a happiness, you look for joy in this world, you haven't found it because it's not in this world. There's a joy that goes beyond this world that's found in God and God alone. You can't work your way there, you can't be good enough to get there. We simply turn away from our sin and we turn toward Him. We run toward Him. He gives us the free gift of salvation. It's a gift, it's a gift, it's a gift. And so when He gives it to us, all we can do is give Him our whole life. Today, some of you have been searching, you've been searching for a what? And I came to tell you, you're actually searching for a who. His name is Jesus and He loves you and He's ready for you today.
Wherever you're watching from, those who say, "That's me, it's me. I've searched, I'm broken. I know I'm sinful, I'm gonna turn from my sin". When you turn from your sin, when you call on Jesus, He hears your prayers, He forgives your sins. You're about to be brand new. When you become new, we're gonna rejoice. We're gonna celebrate like crazy. All of our churches and online, those who say, "I need His grace. Today, by faith, I'm turning from my old life, I'm turning from my sin. I give my life to Jesus. Take my life, I give it to You".
That's your prayer, lift your hands high right now, all over the place, and say, "Yes". Right here, praise God for you. Right back up here, others say, "Yes, Jesus". Right back over here, "I surrender to You". Over here, praise God for you. Yes, I surrender, God, take my life. Come on, church, let's tell God, "Thank you". Others of you today, "I need His grace". Lift up your hands and say, "I surrender to Him". Online, just type in the comments section, "I am surrendering my life to Jesus". And as you do, all of our churches, would you pray?
Heavenly Father. Forgive all of my sins. Jesus save me, be first in my life, my Savior and my Lord. Fill me with Your Spirit so I can walk by the Spirit, so I can choose holiness and live in a way that reflects Your kingdom. Thank you for new life, I give You all of mine. In Jesus' name, I pray.